Wikipedia:Peer review/RahXephon/archive1

RahXephon

Presenting to the public before nominating for GAC. Please advise regarding format, out-of-universe perspective, prose, and comprehensivity. Thanksin advance for your advice and comments.--SidiLemine 16:07, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

I'd like to move this towards FA rather than GA; it certainly is a topic and article large enough to warrant it. As a major contributor, I'll respond to feedback, starting with automated review. --GunnarRene 16:23, 5 January 2007 (UTC) Addendum: Large article doesn't mean that it's automatically "featured"; point is that GA is a simpler process for smaller articles. --GunnarRene 23:06, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Automated review

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

• Per WP:WIAFA, this article's table of contents (ToC) may be too long- consider shrinking it down by merging short sections or using a proper system of daughter pages as per Wikipedia:Summary style.
  • Passed test.
• This article may need to undergo summary style, where a series of appropriate subpages are used. For example, if the article is United States, than an appropriate subpage would be History of the United States, such that a summary of the subpage exists on the mother article, while the subpage goes into more detail.
  • Summary style allready used. As of this moment, the readable prose has about 6 200 words, which is within the 6 000 to 10 000 word limit that is suggested in Wikipedia:Article size. I think this length is fine, especially since the article has many sections that cater to different encyclopedic angles. --GunnarRene 17:51, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
  • Now down below 5900 words of prose. --GunnarRene 22:31, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
  • I'd still like feedback on length and verbosity though, and on balance between sections. --GunnarRene 17:53, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
• Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.
  • Listed on Wikipedia:WikiProject League of Copyeditors. Waiting for response

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, GunnarRene 17:36, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Automated review passed or adressed. Only point left is a visit from an experienced copy editor.--GunnarRene 05:54, 6 January 2007 (UTC)

Non-automatic reviews

The article's really good, and you seem to have invested a lot into it, but it just seems to pull in a lot of directions. At first glance this is what I'd do, this is what seems sensible to me:

• The "japanese culture" and "Civilizations and creation stories" could be combined into one. Both deal with ancient civilizations and beliefs present in the series, they have something in common. And you make mention of the Mesoamerican influences in the japanese section, so it makes sense.
  • Done. Thanks. Why didn't I see that. :-) --GunnarRene 22:33, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

• In the "Comparisons with other Anime," I'd recommend leaving Raideen (since the creators themselves admit the influence) and Evangelion (since everyone on the planet seems to think so). The stuff about Infinite Ryvius and "Other anime" seem inconsequential, so I'd suggest trimming that. Maybe the stuff about Host Club could be moved under "Legacy," as part of the series impact.
  • Done, undone, done. I'm leaving those that are sourced, since it shows that there were comparisons with many shows, not just two.--GunnarRene 21:26, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

• "OVA", "Movie" and "Manga" could go under "Media."
  • OVA moved to List of RahXephon media

• The stuff about "Visual arts" and "Music" could be combined also.
  • Done

• You have a footnote that directs to a picture of a Mayan sculpture. Why not upload it, or look for one already uploaded? Have looked at commons and not found something similar, so linked to web page instead (I consider it a convenience link). Found an interesting bas-relief from Palenque though.
• Some images are needed for the characters
  • The associated article List of RahXephon characters has images of all of the main characters; the link in the main article could be adjusted to note this, rather than adding more pics to the main article. Willbyr (talk | contribs) 20:42, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
    • Characters image done. (Copied from character list.) --GunnarRene 23:45, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

• I don't see the need to divide the "Reception" in TV, movie and manga reviews.--Nohansen 20:16, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
  • For navigation, and because some reviewers reacted differently to the different story formats. --GunnarRene 22:33, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

• One small friendly recommendation: You say you'd "like to move this towards FA rather than GA; it certainly is a topic and article large enough to warrant it"... but you have know that the two featured articles of WP:ANIME, Excel Saga and Serial Experiments Lain, are barely 40KB, this one is pushing 60KB. Not because it is long it is guaranteed to be featured. Not everything about RahXephon needs to be here. Anything worth keeping, spin-off to sub-articles; what's not worth it, dump it.--Nohansen 22:03, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
  • The Simpsons was recently featured, at about 6000 words of prose. The Adventures of Tintin is today's featured article with about 7200 words of prose. RahXephon now has about 5900 words of prose. (All excluding lists). Wikipedia:Article size recommend a limit around 6 000 to 10 000 words of prose.--GunnarRene 22:51, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
  • PS: Re: "Not because it is long it is guaranteed to be featured". My point was that the article is a bit long for the Good Article process, which is really just one person who hasn't worked on the article rating the article.... --GunnarRene 22:58, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Great article, 3 comments:

• Isn't there an anime logo to place in the infobox rather than a screenshot?
  • A plain logo would have the benefit of shortening the infobox, but it would be efen better to have an image with a logo, the RahXephon, and perhaps even some characters.
• Since the article describes the tv show, manga and the movie, I would recommend making it more clearer in the lead that this is the case: the first sentence only states it's a tv show.
  • Done
• To be honest (for the benefit of the article) the prose seemed a bit weak. Since I'm no english major may-be you could ask one of the members of WP:LoCE to run through the article?
  • Yes, we've already asked and are waiting.

Good luck at FAC! — Tutmosis 02:46, 6 January 2007 (UTC)

• • Thanks. Much appreciated.--GunnarRene 05:46, 6 January 2007 (UTC)