Wikipedia:Peer review/R. V. C. Bodley/archive1

R. V. C. Bodley

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because i'd like to nominate it for FAC one day. Any feedback would be nice, and i'd be happy to review your peer review in exchange. Just let me know if you have an article you'd like me to review when you leave comments here.

Thanks, Freikorp (talk) 12:00, 28 February 2015 (UTC)

Closing review as i've had two good responses, and there are plenty of other articles waiting for a review. Freikorp (talk) 13:02, 14 March 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Tomandjerry211

Don't think you should send it FAC yet (you should send it through an A-class review on MilHist for some more feedback that might make the article fail on FAC).

• Not certain that the citation in the lead is necessary, since it should be cited in the body

Added a sentence about when and how he left the Army in the body. Freikorp (talk) 00:17, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

• Shouldn't have both sfns and ref tags in the article

I'll fix that before I nominate it for FAC :) Freikorp (talk) 10:38, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

• instead of ...eldest of three children;..., I think ...oldest of three children;... is better.

Done. Freikorp (talk) 00:17, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

• Instead of hyphens for some of your citations put solid dashes (you can find them on the toolbox on the bottom of the page).

I only found one hyphen in the sfns; are you referring to the hyphens in the isbns? Freikorp (talk) 10:31, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

• ...and was also appointed Officier of the...

Done. Freikorp (talk) 00:17, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

• Probably should include more on his early life in the lead.

Better now? Freikorp (talk) 00:55, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

• Good. -- Tomandjerry211 (talk) 11:17, 11 March 2015 (UTC)
• What did he die of?

I don't know. As mentioned in the article there is limited information available on his later years. Both the sources I have that mention his death don't state the cause, though he was 78 and I do have a a source that he died in a nursing home, so it was certainly natural causes. Which natural cause, however, we'll probably never know. Freikorp (talk) 00:17, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

• Want some more images (if they are copyrighted upload the to Wikipedia under fair use).

Tried to add another image of him in his later life under fair use, but was told since there is a free image of him (which is a featured picture no less) it was unlikely that we'd be able to justify fair use of another picture just of him. Freikorp (talk) 00:17, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

• Should have info on when and where he died in the lead.

I don't really see why that would be needed. His date of death is already mentioned, and there's nothing particularly interesting or unusual about dying in a nursing home in the country where he lived for a significant portion of his life. Freikorp (talk) 10:38, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

• then traveled through Asia in the lead

Done. Freikorp (talk) 00:17, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

• All citations need page numbers (for example "Bodley 1968").

The two citations that don't have page numbers ('Bodley 1945' and 'Bodley 1968') are specifically citing the dust jacket and back cover respectively (as is specified in the 'Bibliography' section); there's no page number to cite. Freikorp (talk) 00:55, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

• Add some isbns or oclcs for your sources. They can be found on here.

Found one. The other two I believe are too old to have either. Freikorp (talk) 01:16, 11 March 2015 (UTC)

I think all books either have isbns or oclcs (older books have oclcs).

More later. I also have a Peer review that might be of interest.-- Tomandjerry211 (talk) 19:37, 7 March 2015 (UTC)

I'll take a look at that peer review either later today or in a couple days time (won't have internet access tomorrow or most of the day after). Freikorp (talk) 00:55, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

@Tomandjerry211: Have a look at my replies. I'll start reviewing your PR today. Freikorp (talk) 01:16, 11 March 2015 (UTC)

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk)

• "Bodley was appointed assistant military attaché to Paris on 15 August 1918. ... As assistant military attaché Bodley attended": Bodley was appointed assistant military attaché to Paris on 15 August 1918, and attended

Done. Freikorp (talk) 11:49, 10 March 2015 (UTC)

• As was discussed recently at WT:FAC, "stated" doesn't work well when it's used a lot; it can be considered the verb form of "statement", and not everyone is making a statement.

Removed 3 uses of the term. Freikorp (talk) 11:49, 10 March 2015 (UTC)

• Good writing; I didn't have much to do. These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 03:23, 10 March 2015 (UTC)

Thanks :) Freikorp (talk) 11:49, 10 March 2015 (UTC)