Wikipedia:Peer review/Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire/archive1
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for November 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
The editors are hoping to get this up to FA-status, so any pushes in the right direction would be appreciated.
Thanks, Ink Runner (talk) 05:54, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
- David Fuchs
Images
- Image:Pokemonemeraldboxart.jpg and Image:Pokémon Box - Ruby & Sapphire Coverart.png should be removed per WP:NFCC, and probably one of the box art in the infobox; a caption can easily explain it was marketed as two versions with two different pokemon.
- I removed the screenshots of Pokémon Emerald and Pokémon Box. I'm not totally against the idea of removing one of the box art from the infobox, but what about The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages and Seasons? It is featured and uses both box art in the article. Artichoker[talk] 23:04, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
- Frankly that's not a good FA to use as an example; I'm actually going to take a look at trimming some of the images in that one. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 03:50, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
- OK, I removed one of the covers. Ink Runner (talk) 17:54, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
- Frankly that's not a good FA to use as an example; I'm actually going to take a look at trimming some of the images in that one. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 03:50, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
- I removed the screenshots of Pokémon Emerald and Pokémon Box. I'm not totally against the idea of removing one of the box art from the infobox, but what about The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages and Seasons? It is featured and uses both box art in the article. Artichoker[talk] 23:04, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
- To someone who has never played a Pokemon video game, the gameplay section is full of jargon and vague. What kind of game is it? What is the goal (without forcing players to click away from the article to find out)? What can players do?
- The setting and plot should be moved after gameplay, and the redudant info which should belong in gameplay removed.
- The lead doesn't summarize the entire article.
- Reception should be expanded with more critical publications.
- Single-sentence paragraphs should be expanded, merged or removed.
--Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 18:43, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
- Hi David, thanks muchly for your review. I have expanded the lead so it (hopefully) summarizes the article; I have also merged a single-sentence paragraph. I'll work on clearing up the jargon and adding more game reviews later. Thanks again. Ink Runner (talk) 07:35, 13 November 2008 (UTC)
Comment just a quick comment, your caption for the infobox images says "North American versions". Arent they European due to the PEGI rating? Salavat (talk) 14:58, 13 November 2008 (UTC)
- Yes, thanks for pointing that out. Replaced covers with North American ones. Ink Runner (talk) 16:36, 13 November 2008 (UTC)