Wikipedia:Peer review/OneShot/archive2

OneShot

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because I think it's close to GA level, but would like to know what can be improved before starting a GAN.

Thanks, Skyshifter ^talk 16:45, 24 July 2023 (UTC)

It may look like it close but it still had problem even if it looked perfect. The first step is that all or most references should be reliable, independent and published and Steam is not a use for sources. For the list of sources for a video game article, click WP:VG/Sources. The Lead section should had no references unless it use for the title and infobox (I guessed). The article should also start perfect so I recommend you look at WP:MOS/VG or look at examples of other video game article. NatwonTSG2 (talk) 18:26, 24 July 2023 (UTC)

Thank you for your comments; however, I never said it was perfect. It also shouldn't be perfect before sending to GAN, since that's impossible. Steam works as a primary source for the information it's referencing right now. Removed reference from lead. Skyshifter ^talk 20:42, 24 July 2023 (UTC)

I think this article itself is GA level, however i would recommend replacing the Tumblr source with a more reliable one. I've also noticed some sections needed sourcing like in the Gameplay section where there is a Citation needed tag. When this article fixes all of it's referencing issues, i would consider it GA worthy. Summerslam2022 (talk) 23:15, 6 September 2023 (UTC)

Thanks! I'm unsure on the Tumblr because I think it's relevant to cite that Niko's gender is ambiguous and that it was confirmed by the developers, since just using "they" may confuse readers when sources/reviews tend to use he or she. I'll hopefully fix the citation needed soon, I added it due to a source that I removed for being unreliable. I also need to expand the reception section with two other reviews I found that are reliable. Skyshifter ^talk 23:34, 6 September 2023 (UTC)

Comments from Z1720

Comments after a quick skim:

• Reception is quite long. Perhaps split it into "Critical reception", "Sales" and/or "Awards"
• Not sure if the tumblr will be accepted at GAN
• Per MOS:ALLCAPS, so not have titles in all caps.

I hope this helps. Z1720 (talk) 02:54, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

Thank you for your comments!

• Added "Awards" section, although it is just one sentence long.
• Used another source to confirm the engine. Regarding Niko's gender, I don't think I can find better ones. I think they work okay as primary sources for confirming Niko's ambiguous gender as intended by the developers.
• Fixed.

Skyshifter ^talk 03:40, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

Is it just me or every major thing in the reception section except to the first paragraph and the award section is unlink so you find articles for they. NatwonTSG2 (talk) 13:55, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

Forgot to add a link to Adventure Gamers in prose, which is now added. Other paragraphs don't need links; links should be added only the first time they appear. Skyshifter ^talk 15:32, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

Comments from MilkyDefer

I think the figure in gameplay section should be replaced. The game is quite known for its meta elements. You'd better choose a picture showcasing that. Perhaps the World Machine part where you have to execute another program and align the clover mark could be ideal. MilkyDefer 16:47, 15 August 2023 (UTC)

Yeah, I've been thinking of including a GIF showing something like that. Will do soon. Skyshifter ^talk 23:59, 15 August 2023 (UTC)

So that's two full weeks since my last comment. May I inquire what is the definiton of "soon"? MilkyDefer 05:19, 29 August 2023 (UTC)

Sorry if I was misleading with "soon". I'll add it before starting the GAN, don't worry. Skyshifter ^talk 16:08, 29 August 2023 (UTC)

Thanks for the comments, by the way. So actually my idea was to play OneShot again until I reached a GIF-worthy part and I would record it myself, but I'm kinda lazy to do it right now. I'll definitely do it whenever I can though. Skyshifter ^talk 23:41, 6 September 2023 (UTC)

@MilkyDefer: Added. Skyshifter ^talk 00:45, 10 September 2023 (UTC)

Comments from Charcoal feather

I played this a few years ago and quite enjoyed it. From a quick skim:

• released for/on Steam -> released for/on (Microsoft) Windows (via Steam). per WP:VG/PLATFORMS
  • Done Skyshifter ^talk 00:44, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
• Future Cat is mentioned in both the lead and the infobox, but not in the body. Needs to be cited.
  • Added in the body with citation. Skyshifter ^talk 00:44, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
• The article says Degica published the game; IB says Komodo.
  • Fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:44, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
• Mark Conforti, Michael Shirt, and Nightmargin are not mentioned in the body and have no citations in the IB.
  • Fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:44, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
• Casey Gu is mentioned as a creator in the body but not in the IB.
  • Fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:44, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
• It being a single-player game is not actually mentioned in the body.
  • Added Skyshifter ^talk 00:44, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
• Consider wikilinking top-down perspective
  • Added Skyshifter ^talk 00:44, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
• Consider unlinking lightbulb
  • Removed Skyshifter ^talk 00:44, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
• Alula and Calamus are names and should probably not be wikilinked.
  • Removed Skyshifter ^talk 00:44, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
• COG Connected is not listed in WP:VG/S and the only mention I can find is this. What makes it a reliable source?
• What makes GameGrin a reliable source?
• What makes New Game Network a reliable source?
  • They are in the Metacritic reviews, so I thought they were reliable, although it seems MC adds some unreliable publications sometimes. I'll create threads in VG/S to discuss these. (GameGrin seems to be confirmed unreliable). Skyshifter ^talk 01:08, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
    • Removed all three. I'll add the reliable Meristation and Vandal reviews later. Skyshifter ^talk 22:52, 4 September 2023 (UTC)

      Done and added to prose. Skyshifter ^talk 00:58, 10 September 2023 (UTC)

• The plot summary contains 900 words; fewer than 700 is recommended.
  • Will try to reduce. Skyshifter ^talk 00:44, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
    • Reduced by 100 words; still above 700. I think there's not much more that can be removed, honestly (without removing relevant information). I'm open to suggestions. Skyshifter ^talk 00:04, 7 September 2023 (UTC)
• One sentence "Awards" section for a single nomination is really not necessary.
  • Removed Skyshifter ^talk 00:20, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
• Is mentioning the publication every time a critic is mentioned really necessary? I would use just the surname or the name of the publication to reduce bloat.
  • I've seen some VG GAs do it, like Viva Piñata: Trouble in Paradise, the argument for it was that recognizing the publisher was as relevant as the author. Skyshifter ^talk 00:20, 16 August 2023 (UTC)

Hope this helps Charcoal feather (talk) 16:52, 15 August 2023 (UTC)

@Charcoal feather: thank you for your comments! I've resolved most of the issues. Skyshifter ^talk 00:44, 16 August 2023 (UTC)