Wikipedia:Peer review/Mount Barker, South Australia/archive1

Mount Barker, South Australia

I have done a lot of work on this article, taken photos, written sections. I have written most of it and would like to see how it is faring towards Featured Article. I know its probably nowhere near close...--TheJosh 11:41, 5 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Raime

Honestly, this article needs a lot of work before it even meets Good Article criteria. The lead needs to meet WP:LEAD criteria; it needs to summarize the article, Right now, it is far too short. The history section needs to be expanded, but mostly needs references. The Geography section needs far more information, i.e. coordinates, town size, neighbouring municipalities, geographical characteristics, etc. All sections of the article need to be improved, both with referencing and length. More images would greatly add to the article. The current infobox image would probably be more appropriate in the "Transportation" section, and a view of a prominent building or cityscape should be obtained if possible. (Images are not a requirement for promotion, but they certainly add to articles). The infrastructure section needs a lot of work as well, particularly with prose. References should be properly formatted using the cite web format. Overall, while this article is certainly not ready for FA-class, it is off to a great start. I would assess this as a Start-class article on its way to a B. To see what is expected of a mid-size city FA-class article, see Grand Forks, North Dakota. Raime 05:48, 11 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks --TheJosh 12:21, 12 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Second Review

Well, it is clear that the article has had a lot of work done. There are some huge improvements. I'd say this now almost meets B-Class requirements (very close), but not quite. It is also not yet ready for GAC or FAC nomination. TheJosh, I'd say you would want to work towards Good Article status before arriving at FAC, as it seems an appropriate step. However, it still needs some work:

Lead - Still very inadequate. An adequate lead needs to summarize the entire article. I'd say you would want to put the historical mention after the rapidly expanding information to start. You may also want to add information about geography, a slight expansion on history, an addition of transportation, etc. See Plymouth, Massachusetts or Chambersburg, Pennsylvania to see what is expected for a GA-lead.
History - Still needs expansion. ~~First, it is out of order. You jump from native settlement to 1984, and then go back to 1830. History should be in chronological ordering.~~ And, the section needs more information about modern history other than shopping centres and infrastructure problems. What new subdivisions? What new, major shopping centres? An expansion about infrastructure would also be good. And mention the population boom here. Overall, the section is pretty underdeveloped and needs expansion. Be wary of wikilinking years, as they they are usually not notable enough in relation to the article to be linked. For example, the completion of a radio tower in 1987 doesn't need a wikilink for 1987. I'd say that no years should be linked in this section.
Geography - Expansion and references needed. What major cities is it located near to? And do not separate minute details into separate, one or two senetence paragraphs. This makes for bad prose, and it will likely not pass at GAC in this condition. Paragraphs should contain fully developed ideas, not straggling facts. Overall, I have to say, this section fairly porrly written compared to "History". It needs punctuation, major expansion, and prose work. Other questions - What is the total land area? What mnicipalitie are located adjacent to it? I would say exapnd on the "wetlands" information, and mention nearby rivers and mounatins. Also be careful - It is confusing in some areas about whether you are talking about the city or the mountains. For example: "Mount Barker is roundish in shape, and is approximately four kilometres across and three and a half kilometres long." I assume this is the mountain? Is the entire section about the mountain? If so, this needs major work, because it should be about the city. Of course, the mountain should be mentioned, but not be a focus of the section.
- Climate - Also needs work. I'd say use the usual climate format (See here). Hottest month? Coldest month? Wettest month? Weather patterns? Expansion and refs needed. ~~Remove The following table shows the average minimum temperature, maximum temperature and average rainfall for the year. from the article; simply title the graph.~~
Demographics - Needs major work. "Mount Barker" is repeated too many times. Use "It" or "the city" to break up redundancy. For origins, I'd remove the section and put it into the Dem section, and remove the table. This could easily be mixed into prose. Also, regional comparisons to state statistics would be great.
Economy - Not notable enough to warrant its own heading. Merge into demographics. References are needed.
Culture - This is probably the best section, but it is not without its faults. For shopping, I'd remove list format, and find a reference for each center. Also, this heading is not really needed. Be wary about listing shopping centers; try to include only relevant information. Supermarkets aren't really relevant, it is general information that cities have these. Large malls and residential complexes, new and very large developemnts, etc. are notable. The "Recreation" section needs work. "Just up the hills" does not sound encyclopedic. "Mount Barker has numerous activities that are available" sounds like an excerpt from a tourism guide. And mention tourism if possible. How many tourists per year? Media needs expansion as well. Radio stations? Television? Many smaller cities do not have enough media to require such a sub-heading, and this is likely the case for Mount Barker. A redlink to a small newspaper does not require its own section. Removing this section would probably be best.
Roads - Not notable. Local roads should not be mentioned. Highways are really all that should be listed.
Schools should be renamed Education, and more information is needed. How many students in the school district? How large is the district? Try to refrain from putting information in parentheses after the school name. Mix it into prose. ~~And remove redlinks to small schools which do not warrant their own articles.~~
Buses- Definitely remove tables. Wikipedia should not be used to advertise local bus routes. I am sure you had good intentions, but this section is not notable. No external links should ever be used in the article. Mention local bus companies, and refrain from using language like "(and the Strathalbyn buses)connect at stop 63B. This stop is right next to the Mount Barker pool, and it currently shares the car park with the pool." This is very confusing to readers not familiar with the city. Relate directions based on prominent subdivisions or highways, not on pools.
Public Services - Well written, but very short. References are needed, and more information would be great. Do not use language such as "right next to". "Adjacent" would be more appropriate.
Possible Expansion Sections - Healthcare, Governmnent, and Points of Interest
Referencing - Needs more references. All existing refs should use cite web format. But this is certainly a great start.
Images - Great job with getting these. But my first comment still stands - You should get a better image for the infobox if possible. ~~Also, consider aligning some photos to the left.~~ If possible, get a satellite photo that is uncorrupted (w/o arrows and tabs). Also, the arrows are unnecessary. They do nothing for the image. If something is not shown on the image, you don't have to label it.

Overall, you have made great improvements. Please feel free to leave me further questions or comments. I will be glad to assist in any article cleanup. Raime 02:15, 19 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]

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You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, TheJosh 13:27, 13 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]