Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Indian submissions for the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film/archive1

List of Indian submissions for the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to take it to FL status. Look forward to your comments and suggestions for improving the list.

Thanks, —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 19:31, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

• Comment
• "...the second appearance of the regular Foreign Oscar award". This phrase is not perhaps the best way to describe this. Please re-word in a more easily understandable/better way.
  • Reworded —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 14:43, 7 April 2013 (UTC)
• "...however, between 1947 and 1955, the Academy presented Honorary Awards to the best foreign language films released in the United States. These awards were not competitive, as there were no nominees but simply a winner every year that was voted on by the Board of Governors of the Academy." I think this is too much detail for the honorary award that is not the topic of this list, and that too in the very first paragraph of the lead.
  • I forgot to mention that this list is being modeled based on the Japan and Germany lists. Though India started sending entries only after 1957, this part is vital to present the fact that the award was presented in some form (honorary) before 1956. In some way it gives an additional information to the reader. —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 14:43, 7 April 2013 (UTC)

• That there was a honorary award before can definitely be mentioned in the lead. But such greater detail (who voted etc) is undue in the first paragraph of the lead of this article. The case of Japan is different as some Japanese films actually won that honorary award. The Germany article does not have this info in the lead. The unneeded prominence of this honorary award in the first paragraph of lead actually is distracting to the core topic.--Dwaipayan (talk) 18:42, 7 April 2013 (UTC)

• If not in the first para, where would it fit? —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 03:58, 8 April 2013 (UTC)

• "...nominated among four other films" Among is probably not the suitable word here. I am not sure.
  • Replaced —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 14:43, 7 April 2013 (UTC)
• "Since 1984, they have missed out on only a single year in 2003, when they controversially chose not to send a film as they felt no film would be in a position to compete with films from other nations". Who are they?
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 14:43, 7 April 2013 (UTC)

• Still not clear; the sentence starts with "India"; India, in this case, cannot be they.--Dwaipayan (talk) 17:38, 9 April 2013 (UTC)

• " In 2011, it was reported that the jury of ..." Who reported? You can name the source.--Dwaipayan (talk) 20:27, 6 April 2013 (UTC)
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 14:43, 7 April 2013 (UTC)

• Thanks for your comments —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 14:43, 7 April 2013 (UTC)

• Suggested first paragraph of the lead:
• India has submitted films for the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film since 1957, a year after the incorporation of the category. The award is handed out annually by the United States Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to a feature-length motion picture produced outside the United States that contains primarily non-English dialogue. The Best Foreign Language Film category was not created until 1956; however, between 1947 and 1955, the Academy presented a non-competitve Honorary Awards to the best foreign language films released in the United States.
• I removed the last sentence as well as that was redundant; the Best Foreign Language award has already been described at the outset.--Dwaipayan (talk) 17:38, 9 April 2013 (UTC)
  • Fine with me. Thanks for your comments so far and let me know if you have more. —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 04:35, 11 April 2013 (UTC)