Wikipedia:Peer review/Liberal Democrats leadership election, 2006/archive1
This article grew very significantly during the three months or so of the contest and has been pretty stable since. As it was stitched together over time and changed frequently, a review would help check how it works as a whole article. Thanks. —Whouk (talk) 20:26, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
- Some initial comments.
- The opening needs to take an overall view of the whole leadership election process. At the moment it starts by naming the winner and giving his winning margin, then leaps back two months to give the reason it was called. This flows very badly and doesn't give much context. A better way would be like this "The Liberal Democrats leadership election of 2006 saw Menzies Campbell elected to follow Charles Kennedy as Leader of the Liberal Democrats, the centrist British political party. Kennedy was forced to resign (etc.) There were four candidates (etc). The eventual winning margin was (etc.)".
- Likewise the article's sections are out of sequence with the vote results given first, then the candidates and their supporters, the withdrawn candidates, the rules, then the opinion polls, and finally a narrative of the campaign. The circumstances in which Charles Kennedy was forced to resign, which happened first in the chronology, are the last section. I think a more chronological order would be better.
- Parts of the article are written as though the election is still ongoing: the candidates' list and their supporters, for instance.
- The abbreviation 'Ming Campbell' is used a few times. It needs to be either explained, or preferably, ditched and Menzies Campbell used throughout. David | Talk 20:52, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks, David. I've reordered it as suggested, changed the tenses that I spotted and restructured the lead. —Whouk (talk) 12:02, 22 April 2006 (UTC)