Wikipedia:Peer review/Jaekelopterus/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because I am hoping to get it to FA and I would be interested in what improvements would need to be made to get it to that level as I haven't tackled improving something to FA yet. Thanks, Ichthyovenator (talk) 08:35, 30 November 2018 (UTC)
- I'll have a look soon. I expect that when my points here are fixed, I should be able to support immediately when the FAC comes (as with Irritator). FunkMonk (talk) 15:48, 30 November 2018 (UTC)
- At first glance, I see some duplinks, which can be highlighted with this script:[1]
- I thought I'd managed to remove all the duplinks! I removed the remaining ones I could find, the script erroneously shows some remaining links as duplinks since some things are linked both in the lead and in the rest of the article. Ichthyovenator (talk) 19:48, 30 November 2018 (UTC)
- Not all writers mentioned are presented with full names, occupations, etc.
- They should be now. Ichthyovenator (talk) 21:27, 30 November 2018 (UTC)
- Seems that pretelson is shown from two angles in the original image[2], why not include both in the image in the article? Looking at Commons, it seems the specimen was depicted form even more angles[3], maybe a compilation image that includes them al could be made.
- Replaced the image with a new composite image featuring all all angles. Ichthyovenator (talk) 18:43, 1 December 2018 (UTC)
- It would probably be good for the FAC to add a citation in the Commons description of the life restoration to where the anatomy can be verified (they usually ask this for dinosaur restorations and so on). Could just be to a paper that includes a matching reconstruction or photo of a fossil.
- Added a link to a paper featuring a restoration with more or less identical anatomy. Ichthyovenator (talk) 18:48, 1 December 2018 (UTC)
- You could link arthropod at first mention outside the intro.
- You seem to be mixing UK and US English. You have for example metre and centimetre, but also paleobiology and paleoecology.
- I've changed metre and centimetre to meter and centimeter respectively, but I doubt I've catched all examples of UK English, this might be something that can be entirely fixed during a copy edit?
- "Jaekelopterus is diagnosed as a pterygotid" Would sound like gibberish to most readers, why not just say it can be "distinguished from other preygotids by..."?
- Rephrased this part, should be better now. Ichthyovenator (talk) 19:00, 1 December 2018 (UTC)
- Define rami, derived (with link), link morphology. Also define chelae, though you should probably distinguish it from chelicera .
- "Braddy, Poschmann and Tetlie" Full names etc.?
- Full names added. Ichthyovenator (talk) 19:00, 1 December 2018 (UTC)
- Asking here, where have you found that Tetlie is German? Some searches on Google seem to indicate that he is Norwegian and lives in the municipality of Overhalla. You can see an indication of it in this book, for example. Super Ψ Dro 23:30, 1 December 2018 (UTC)
- Yes, he's Norwegian... no idea how I messed that one up. Fixed. Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:32, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Asking here, where have you found that Tetlie is German? Some searches on Google seem to indicate that he is Norwegian and lives in the municipality of Overhalla. You can see an indication of it in this book, for example. Super Ψ Dro 23:30, 1 December 2018 (UTC)
- Full names added. Ichthyovenator (talk) 19:00, 1 December 2018 (UTC)
- Jaekel, 1914 should be in parenthesis in the type species field of the taxobox, since that is not the original combination.
- Didn't know this, now in parenthesis. Ichthyovenator (talk) 19:00, 1 December 2018 (UTC)
- "of the Rhineland" State country too.
- "characteristic of Pterygotus, with other discovered elements differing very little from previously known species of Pterygotus" Second Pterygotus could be "that genus" to avoid repetition.
- "by German paleontologist Otto Jaekel based" Always give dates for naming and revisions. Is usually also give names and dates for any other studies mentioned.
- Added "in 1914". Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:31, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- "near Overath" State country.
- Added country and linked "Overath". Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:31, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- "Based on more comprehensive material" Consisting of what?
- "llustration of the top of the pretelson of "Pterygotus rhenaniae"" State if this is of the holotype.
- It is the holotype, added this. Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:31, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- You are inconsistent in whether you give dates in parenthesis or in the main text. I would put it all in the main text.
- "The generic name is composed of a patronym" A patronym? Is this really what the source says? It is just Jaekel's last name? A patronym is a given name that refers to a male ancestor.
- No this is not what the source says. If I remember correctly, this was done by another editor who disagreed with the previous simple "the name means Jaekel's wing" (or something like that) that I had put in. Should I change it back to something like that? Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:31, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Yeah, should be changed, because the current text is simply incorrect. FunkMonk (talk) 14:11, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Changed it. Ichthyovenator (talk) 14:32, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Yeah, should be changed, because the current text is simply incorrect. FunkMonk (talk) 14:11, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- No this is not what the source says. If I remember correctly, this was done by another editor who disagreed with the previous simple "the name means Jaekel's wing" (or something like that) that I had put in. Should I change it back to something like that? Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:31, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- "honouring German paleontologist Otto Jaekel" Already presented earlier, so you shouldn't need the first part.
- Removed the first part. Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:31, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- It would probably make more sense to list the differences between the two species in the description rather than the history section. For example, why is the size of J. howelli listed under history rather than description?
- Yes, moved a majority of the J. howelli text to the description. Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:38, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- chelicerae only needs to be linke din one image caption.
- Removed the second link to chelicerae. Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:38, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Redirect all synonyms and binomials here.
- "the pterygotids are oversplit" Link to lumping and splitting.
- "Though differences have been noted in chelicerae, chelicerae have been questioned" Instead of repeating chelicerae, perhaps say "these structures" at second mention.
- Sure, done. Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:38, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- None of the claims given in the first paragrpgh of classification are attributed to any authors, though much of it seems to be the conclusions reached in specific studies.
- Added names and dates. Ichthyovenator (talk) 13:56, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- "Jaekelopterus had previously been classified as a basal sister-taxon" Likewise, by who and when? Give such info for all revisions and studies mentioned.
- It had been classified as such since it was raised as a separate genus, added. Ichthyovenator (talk) 13:56, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Perhaps list the article for copy edit[4], I always do that at least.
- Absolutely, should I wait until the peer review is done? Ichthyovenator (talk) 13:56, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Nah, because it will take quite some time before it reaches the top of the list anyway... FunkMonk (talk) 14:11, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Alright, I've listed it. Ichthyovenator (talk) 14:32, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Nah, because it will take quite some time before it reaches the top of the list anyway... FunkMonk (talk) 14:11, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Absolutely, should I wait until the peer review is done? Ichthyovenator (talk) 13:56, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- You give conversions for measurements in the description, but these should also be given elsewhere in the article, for example the cladogram and palaeobiology.
- Think I've added conversions everywhere now. Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:25, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- "The pterygotid eurypterids contain" I think "include" would sound better here.
- Changed to "include". Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:25, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- Link terms like paleozoic and moult. Explain denticles, coxae and ecdysis. Link and explain ontogeny.
- "may have rivalled the pterygotids and other giant arthropods in weight, if not surpassed them." Any weight estimates for any of these?
- None that I've found. Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:25, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- "Some researchers have suggested" As before, best to name them, in all sections where studies are discussed, and especially when there are competing views.
- Named all of them and added dates. Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:25, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- "(the group to which eurypterids like Jaekelopterus belongs)" Give examples of other members, for context?
- "Spec. Pap. Palaeontol." This and other journal names should be spelled out.
- There seems to be some inconsistency in journal formatting, the easiest way to streamline this is to use citation templates for all.
- Should be more consistent now. Ichthyovenator (talk) 09:23, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- "a poraspid agnathan fish" I guess it cannot be identified to genus?
- Looked at the paper cited for that statement in the paper and apparently it could be identified to a species, added. Ichthyovenator (talk) 09:23, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- "based on is comparable to that" Something wrong here.
- Yeah, fixed the sentence. Ichthyovenator (talk) 09:25, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- "Trace fossil evidence of eurypterids also supports such a conclusion, with eurypterids migrating to nearshore environments to mate and spawn" The latter part of the sentence seems detached, perhaps start it with "indicating that eurypterids migrated to" or similar.
- "noted for having been highly agile and having possessed high manoeuvrability." Based on what?
- "The morphology and body construction of Jaekelopterus and other eurypterids in the Pterygotidae suggests they were adapted to a completely aquatic lifestyle. American paleontologist Simon J. Braddy, German paleontologist Markus Poschmann and Norwegian paleontologist O. Erik Tetlie considered in a 2007 study that it was highly unlikely that an arthropod with the size and build of Jaekelopterus would be able to walk on land.[1]" Isn't this more relevant under palaeoecology than in the description?
- It absolutely is, moved. Ichthyovenator (talk) 09:38, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- "Jaekelopterus is a genus of giant predatory eurypterid," This implies the genus as a whole was giant, but since one species was pretty small, it seems a bit misleading?
- Yeah, removed "giant". Ichthyovenator (talk) 09:38, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- "and have been referred to two known species" Seems a strange way to put it; surely the species had to be based on the fossils before they could be referred to them?
- Replaced with "the genus contains..." Ichthyovenator (talk) 09:38, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- "the type species J. rhenaniae from freshwater strata in the Rhineland and J. howelli from estuarine strata" This distinction isn't mentioned in the article body, and would be very fitting in the palaeoecology section.
- Give the length of the small species in the intro too, it should be a summary of the entire article.
- Likewise, give more physical description than just size in the intro. You could also mention that the species were originally assigned to another genus.
- Added both. Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:05, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- "the strata in which Jaekelopterus has been found suggest that it dwelled in freshwater systems and estuarie" This seems repetitive, as you already state this earlier in the intro.
- Removed. Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:05, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- "are often called "sea scorpions" Only stated in the intro, which should not have unique info.
- Added under "Paleoecology".
- The changes look good. There are still some citations without templates, like the Dunlop source, it is good to be consistent for FAC.
- Fixed the Dunlop source! I'll just wait for the copy edit then :) Ichthyovenator (talk) 19:47, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- Now that the paleoecology section is much longer, I wonder if there would be room for one more image from the Lamsdell and Selden paper. Or maybe it's just me who's a sucker for images, hehe...
- Sure! I've added another image from the paper. Ichthyovenator (talk) 19:47, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- Cool, I wonder if they should be staggered, but no big deal. I would keep this peer review open until after the copy edit is done, in case more people want to comment. Perhaps Super Dromaeosaurus has something to say? FunkMonk (talk) 16:26, 8 December 2018 (UTC)
- And by the way, if you want to get a feel of the FAC process before trying it out yourself, there are two paleontology FACs open now you might try to review: Irritator[5] and Thalassodromeus[6]. FunkMonk (talk) 16:50, 8 December 2018 (UTC)
- I doubt there is much I could add to the discussion but I'll be sure to follow along and take a look. Ichthyovenator (talk) 09:33, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- I have nothing to say, the article looks excellent to me. Super Ψ Dro 16:51, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- I doubt there is much I could add to the discussion but I'll be sure to follow along and take a look. Ichthyovenator (talk) 09:33, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- And by the way, if you want to get a feel of the FAC process before trying it out yourself, there are two paleontology FACs open now you might try to review: Irritator[5] and Thalassodromeus[6]. FunkMonk (talk) 16:50, 8 December 2018 (UTC)
- Cool, I wonder if they should be staggered, but no big deal. I would keep this peer review open until after the copy edit is done, in case more people want to comment. Perhaps Super Dromaeosaurus has something to say? FunkMonk (talk) 16:26, 8 December 2018 (UTC)
- Sure! I've added another image from the paper. Ichthyovenator (talk) 19:47, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
@FunkMonk:, so the copy-edit is done and I believe I'm ready to nominate this for FAC. Since it's a requirement (and if there is nothing left to add here?) maybe this peer review could be closed? Ichthyovenator (talk) 09:02, 23 December 2018 (UTC)
- Yeah, unless you want further reviews here, of course. A last thing, the copy-editor changed meters to metres, but I'm unsure which English variety you used; I see both words like "behaviour" and "paleo". This should probably be made consistent before FAC. FunkMonk (talk) 09:38, 23 December 2018 (UTC)
- I'm not sure more people are going to weigh in here since this is no longer on the list of unanswered reviews but if there are more people with things to add they are of course most welcome. I was mostly going for US English (but I'm not the best at differentiating the two), I've changed every instance of "metre" into "meter" and behaviour to behavior. Ichthyovenator (talk) 09:53, 27 December 2018 (UTC)