Wikipedia:Peer review/Guatemalan Revolution/archive1

Guatemalan Revolution

I've listed this article for peer review because it was listed as a good article a few months ago, and I want to take it further, if possible. Any suggestions are welcome, but particularly with respect to any content not currently in the article which should be included.

Thanks, Vanamonde93 (talk) 17:27, 26 July 2015 (UTC)

Comments from AustralianRupert: G'day, good work so far. Unfortunately, this isn't a topic I know much about, so I can really only make a few superficial comments. Anyway, I hope they help in some way: AustralianRupert (talk) 06:22, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

• at five paragraphs, the lead is a little too long per WP:LEAD, which recommends no more than four paragaphs
• in the References section, watch for consistency: sometimes your page ranges have "pp." and sometimes just "p.". For example, "pp. 222–225" v. "p. 73-76". Where there is just one page, "p." seems sufficient, but if it is a range, I'd suggest "pp."
• I think it would make sense to adjust the headings of the "Notes and references" section and its subsections. For instance, it is titled "Notes and references", but its subsections are "References" and "Sources". As such, I'd probably just change it to two main headers called "Notes" (which would be for the short citations) and "References" (which would be for the full bibliographic details. That would conform with the example at WP:LAYOUT;
• in the Sources section, the book titles should probably be presented with title case capitalization. E.g. "The blood of Guatemala: a history of race and nation" --> "The Blood of Guatemala: A History of Race and Nation";
• in the Sources section, some of the works have places of publication and some don't (e.g. Chapman v. Grandin);
• the duplicate linker checker tool identifies a few examples of overlink which should possibly be removed: Jorge Ubico, Jacobo Árbenz, United Fruit Company, Guatemalan Civil War, El Salvador, National Renovation Party, Manuel Estrada Cabrera, Great Depression, Caribbean Legion, Anastasio Somoza Garcia, Rafael Trujillo, Dominican Republic, Carlos Castillo Armas, Dwight Eisenhower, John Foster Dulles, Miguel Ydígoras Fuentes, Honduras, Puerto Barrios, and Greg Grandin.
• Anyway, that's it from me. Thank you for your efforts so far, and good luck with taking the article further. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 06:22, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Peacemaker67 (crack... thump) 06:43, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

• Not very knowledgeable on Central America in general, so I'm going to look at technical issues that might hang the article up at Milhist A-Class Review.

General

• the toolkit is down (apparently), so I'll try again later.
  • toolkit checks ok.
• there is quite a lot of overlinking, even in the lead. Watch that you only link a term once in the lead and once again in the body. I've found it worthwhile to install User:Ucucha/duplinks on my common.js page so that I can check this automatically with one click. The link has the instructions.

Lead

• suggest "the decade represented"
• agree with AR, needs to be condensed to a max of four paras
• worth pointing out that UFC was a United States business

Early 20th Century

• the "Spanish invasion of Guatemala" jars quite a lot. Surely there was no polity called Guatemala when the Spanish conquered the region? Isn't this referring to the Spanish conquest of the Maya? This is a rather strange formulation IMHO, and even people with no in-depth knowledge of the history of the region will have an understanding that there were a set of what might best be called Mayan kingdoms existing in the region prior to the Spanish conquest.
• the terminology seems a bit confusing. When you say Indian, do you mean Mayan or indigenous? Just look at being consistent as much as possible throughout, and explain any terminology changes as you go.
• the transition to the use of bonded labourers in the plantations seems incompletely explained. Are the community lands now being referred to as plantations? If both slave and bonded labour was used before the late 19thC, then what changed regarding the use of bonded labour?

Dictatorship of Jorge Ubico

• suggest dropping the "full name". He has been linked already, and anyone interested in his details can follow the bouncing ball.
• "debt peonage" is unexplained
• the whole vagrancy law thing needs to be looked for grammar
• suggest "arrested all people of German descent in Guatemala"

Further down

• "named provional president" has a typo
• There is one example of "Guatemala city" rather than Guatemala City
• should María Vilanova be redlinked? She seems likely to be notable if she was a national figure in her own right.
• the image licensing seems ok to me, but it might be worth you pinging Nikkimaria and asking her to run her eye over them.
• Great job! I now know a lot more about Guatemala! Regards, Peacemaker67 (crack... thump) 04:58, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

• Peacemaker67, thanks very much. I've been really busy of late, but I will implement your suggestions as soon as possible. Vanamonde93 (talk) 21:34, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

Comments. I copyedited the first few sections per my standard disclaimer. Feel free to revert. - Dank (push to talk) 22:54, 6 October 2015 (UTC)