Wikipedia:Peer review/Go Man Go/archive1

Go Man Go

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to take this article to FAC shortly, and am looking for help in making sure the prose flow is good, that it is not wordy and verbose, and that it makes sense to a non-horseperson. Also, suggestions on exactly where to LIST the article would be nice.

Thanks, Ealdgyth - Talk 21:45, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

The main problem I have with the article is lack of information and context. Some things are explained well, but many others are missing details or could be explained better. For example, the lead image of the horse does not give the year or the race or the jockey. The lead is decent, but it omits any mention of years until the second paragraph, so the reader unfamiliar with the horse has no idea of when this is occurring. Although the years of his racing career are in the infobox, they should still be in the lead too. I would also give modern equivalents for monetary figures - adjusted for inflation, how much were his earnings worth, for example. See WP:PCR
Other information is just missing. Some of this is background, like the difference between a thoroughbred and a quarter horse (I do not know it and do not know how an animal with mostly thoroughbred ancestors can be a quarterhorse). Abbreviations also need to be indentified the first time so just "... registration with the American Quarter Horse Association (AQHA)", but "TB" is never explained, so I thought his sire had tuberculosis at first. The most frustrating omission is what happened to the horse's parents and brother - how did they die?
- How his brother died, is not mentioned. That's not unusual in horses, honestly. If the horse isn't famous, it's death is often unrecorded. The AQHA gets so few reports of deaths of horses, that they assume any horse older than 25 is dead. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:06, 26 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The article seems a bit short for FA. The Racing career section is only two paragraphs. Length is not a criterion, but comprehensiveness is. Are there other items / stories about him that could be added?
Article still needs a copyedit - for example His next five races were won by him with a total of nine horse-lengths lead.[10] His last race on September 6, 1959 at Ruidoso Downs was the last of the twelve times he faced Vandy's Flash, and the only time that Vandy's Flash won over Go Man Go.[14] could be rewritten as something like He won his next five races with a total of nine horse-lengths lead.[10] He faced Vandy's Flash twelve times, the last was also his last race on September 6, 1959 at Ruidoso Downs, and was the only one of their races that Vandy's Flash won.[14] The organization of Racing career also seems a bit odd - first there is a summary of his career, then the second paragraph is three sentences on his first race, a win streak, and his last race.

Hope this helps. Thanks for all of your work checking refs, Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 01:41, 14 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Second look

Lead looks better - I think just giving the abbreviation is OK and would add sire for parallel construction with the dam sentence that follows, so His father, or sire, was the unraced Thoroughbred (TB) stallion Top Deck, who was bred by the King Ranch.
Too precise "over $86,000 ($634,554.91 in 2007).[4]" probably just to nearest thousand "over $86,000 ($634,000 in 2007).[4]"
- heh. Never sure how precise I should be. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:18, 27 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Is it worth mentioning in the lead that he was the grandson of a Kentucky Derby winner?
- Not that many of them floating around in QH land. Most of the TBs used to breed to QHs are sprinters, and winning the Derby usually means you aren't a sprinter. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:18, 27 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Still needs details in a few places - for example "He was inducted into the American Quarter Horse Hall of Fame.[2] " what year? Or give the place (track) for this "A further honor was the naming of a stakes race after him.[35]"
- I don't know what year he was inducted. It's not on the AQHA's site, and not mentioned in my books. I'll get the stakes race. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:18, 27 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - Heh. I say I don't know the year he was inducted, and turns out the AQHA is now giving that information, finally. Ealdgyth - Talk 22:47, 28 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I still think it needs a breif explanation of what a quarter horse is vs a TB. Otherwise (assuming a thorough copyedit) looks goood to me. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 12:29, 27 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I put one in in a footnote, any suggestions on where in the article to put it? And the classic definition of QH vs TB is that QHs run under a half mile, mainly a quarter or less, and tbs run at a mile or more. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:18, 27 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Perhaps the first paragraph of background would be a good place for a brief explanation. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 11:42, 1 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]