Wikipedia:Peer review/Give Peace a Chance (Grey's Anatomy)/archive1

Give Peace a Chance (Grey's Anatomy)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am interested in seeing it become a featured article. I plan to get it copyedited after the PR, so I am not too interested in prose comments. I would like to know what this article needs to become a FA.

Thanks, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 16:58, 31 July 2012 (UTC)

Comments

• The image in the infobox needs expanding for its rationale. It has to have something to do with "Production", mentioned by critics. Currently, a violation of WP:NFCC. Please expand.
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• Unless you are creating anytime some, please cut down on the red links
  • There's only one red link; they are allowed and available on many FAs as they encourage readers to create articles. Besides, the red link is an episode which I will eventually create for the season six good topic. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• "Moon and Moon", the quotes shouldn't be linked
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• Where is running time referenced?
  • The episode is the source. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:36, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
• "109th" write out in full words. Also, don't even think that's needed; not really needed
  • If the number is not between 1-9, it is an editor's choice to write it out in words or numbers. Also, it can be included per Over There (Fringe).
• Where are the guests stars referenced?
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:36, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
• Before in the episode, add "The show centers on ... In this episode, ..." See here
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• "It was written by Peter Nowalk and directed by Chandra Wilson. The episode was originally broadcast on the American Broadcasting Company (ABC) in the United States on October 29, 2009. The episode was originally broadcast on the American Broadcasting Company (ABC) in the United States on October 29, 2009." Two many short sentences. How about: "Written by Peter Nowalk and directed by Chandra Wilson, the episode was originally broadcast on the American Broadcasting Company (ABC) in the United States on October 29, 2009.
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• "Give Peace a Chance" opens to Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital's chief of surgery, Dr. Richard Webber (James Pickens, Jr.)". We not its for the episode not need for "Give Peace a Chance" opens to
  • Mentioning the episode name in the first paragraph of the body text is not a violation of anything. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• That image is in not way in the "Plot" section/or in the episode. Please remove the unneeded image; if needed, add something else, isn't talked about at all"
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• To many "episode", consider re-writing: "entry", "installment", "it", etc.
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• Same for "the" re-write: "this", various others
• "Jenny Barak edited the episode's music and Donald Lee Harris served as production designer" need better source than the episode. How do we know your not faking? (Sure your not, but, you know)
  • A minimal use of rimary sources are allowed, especially when the claim is not extraordinary or controversial. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:36, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
• "Featured music included Bat for Lashes' "Moon and Moon"" should be further expanding upon.
  • That was the only song in the episode. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• In "Production", may need to merge sentences. Some are too short
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:36, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
• "television critics" television is not relevant. We know its television, just use "critics". (I have made that mistake before)
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:36, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
• In "Reception", use the channel, then country, then the date of its airing
  •  Not done: It sounds awkward to say broadcasting twice right next to each other. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:36, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
• "The episode received positive reviews among television critics" shouldn't be where it is. Nothing about critic reviews are there. They are in the second paragraph
  • It is just a general opener to the reception section. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:36, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
• Some details are very much not needed for the subject example: "The episode did not rank in the top three for viewership, but its 5.2/13 Nielsen rating ranked second in its 9:00 Eastern time-slot and the entire night, for both the rating and share percentages of the key 18–49 demographic, losing to the 2009 World Series, but beating out CSI, The Mentalist, Private Practice, and The Office, etc." Just have the original air date, channel of airing, country, the Nielsen rating/share, then the meaning of that.
  • Rating details add to the comprehensiveness. Also, per Over There (Fringe)#Broadcast and ratings, an explanation of a Nielsen rating is not necessary, as long as the term is linked. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• Can a Nielsen rating be further explaining? See here.
  • Refer to above message. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• Cinema Blend is a no-no, there is no way you will pass FA will a source/review like that. Is there an IGN, or The A.V. Club review that could be added?
  • I replaced it with a Television Without Pity (NBCUniversal) review, and I also replaced IndieLondon with an AfterEllen.com review (I thought the former seemed sketchy). TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN1: Write full person name for credits
  • Their full names are given. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN2: Is missing the author; there is an author at the url
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN3: Should use single quotes, rather than doubled quotes as per WP:MOS; this is for "Give Peace a Chance", which should be 'Give Peace a Chance'. I know, it sounds stupid, but its the rules
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN4: Should use single quotes, rather than doubled quotes as per WP:MOS; this is for "Give Peace a Chance", which should be 'Give Peace a Chance'. I know, it sounds stupid, but its the rules
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN5: Don't use italics in refs.
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN6: Don't use italics in refs.
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN7: After "Grey's Anatomy", it should be an en-dash, not a regular -, it should be –, as per WP:DASH
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN7: Just should be AOL, not AOL, Inc.
  • The corporate name is AOL, Inc.
• FN8: Again, should use single quotes, rather than doubled quotes as per WP:MOS; this is for "Give Peace a Chance", which should be 'Give Peace a Chance'. I know, it sounds stupid, but its the rules
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN9: Again, should use single quotes, rather than doubled quotes as per WP:MOS; this is for "Give Peace a Chance", which should be 'Give Peace a Chance'. I know, it sounds stupid, but its the rules
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN10: Again, should use single quotes, rather than doubled quotes as per WP:MOS; this is for "Give Peace a Chance", which should be 'Give Peace a Chance'. I know, it sounds stupid, but its the rules
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN11: How is that (Cinema Blend) a high-quality source for FA
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN12: Again, should use single quotes, rather than doubled quotes as per WP:MOS; this is for "Give Peace a Chance", which should be 'Give Peace a Chance'. I know, it sounds stupid, but its the rules
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN12: Sepinwall Blogs? Should be The Star-Ledger, followed by its publisher (Advance Publications)
  • It is not called Sepinwall Blogs; it's What's Alan Watching?. Although he used to write for The Star-Ledger, now he writes for HitFix. During the time between his leaving of Star-Ledger, and his founding of HitFix, he posted his reviews at a personal blog site entitled What's Alan Watching?. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN13: After "Recap" it should be an en-dash, not a regular -, it should be –, as per WP:DASH
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN14: After "Recap" it should be an en-dash, not a regular -, it should be –, as per WP:DASH
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN14: Is missing the publisher
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• FN15: How is that (Zap2it) a high-quality source for FA. I know, it is normally a good source, but in this case, it isn't. On the page, it is noted that it is a blog. Please replace, I'm sure there's lots around.
  • There is literally no other more-reliable source that gives the necessary information. Zap2it is definitely an RS. It is published by the Tribune Company; a highly-renowned publisher that also publishes The Chicago Tribune and The Los Angeles Times. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• Add an "external link" for the Grey's Anatomy Wiki, for the episode
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)
• For the categories, do it in order. That said, 2009 television episodes should be the first category listed
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)

Also, when nominated, please note in your lead, that TV Fanatic is a good source because of ... They will ask/say that it isn't good. TBrandley 04:20, 1 August 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the comments; I'll address them ASAP. But also, do you think there is any missing information that would breach its comprehensiveness? TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:30, 1 August 2012 (UTC)

Depends. You could add a bit more to "Production". But, not to "Reception", some needs to be removed from there! If you can find more (good source) information, add it. TBrandley 04:34, 1 August 2012 (UTC)

I know that production is what would need (if any) expanding, but could you think of anything in specific? I don't think writing every crew member for the episode is a good idea, right? TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:36, 1 August 2012 (UTC)

No, don't add every cast member. If you would like to, add "Writing", "Filming", "Filming locations", and some important guest actors. TBrandley 04:38, 1 August 2012 (UTC)

Comment: The image in the infobox is a clear violation of WP:NFCC. I believe that when you nominate for FA, it's going to be deleted right away. — M.Mario (T/C) 15:31, 4 August 2012 (UTC)

• •  Done removed, TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)

Also, reference 12 - a blog? WP:BLOGS. — M.Mario (T/C) 15:42, 4 August 2012 (UTC)

Isn't really a blog. Click on the web page. Its a news site, it was just wrote wrong. TBrandley 18:03, 4 August 2012 (UTC)

Explanation is given above. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:17, 5 August 2012 (UTC)