Wikipedia:Peer review/Gabriel Pleydell/archive1

Gabriel Pleydell

I've listed this article for peer review because…I wish to take this article for FA review, having had it promoted to GA status and subsequently copyedited.

Thanks, Curlymanjaro (talk) 00:10, 30 August 2016 (UTC)

Looks good; some comments below.

• Do we need the parenthetical dates of his MP stints in the lead? Seems a bit distracting, and the details are available below.
• "Gabriel received the remainder of Midgehall's 95-year lease 11 years after Tobias settled in Chipping Faringdon": I don't follow this. Do you mean that the date he received the lease is unknown, but it's known to be 11 years after Tobias settled in Chipping Faringdon? I think you mean that Tobias gave up the property at that point, so Gabriel inherited (or just took possession?) but I wasn't clear on this.
• I would suggest naming Oliver and Agnes when you mention that he had two children; I wasn't sure who Oliver was till I read on.
• "On this basis, the constituency was abolished by the Reform Act 1832": I don't think you need "on this basis", and I think the rest of the sentence could be moved to a note.
• "Surviving parliamentary records note Pleydell by his Christian name as returning to Parliament with, identifying him outright" -- some editing debris here?
• Perhaps include a note at the first appropriate point that lets the reader know that a constituency returned two members at that time.
• "he brought a charge against several men in the Star Chamber": presumably should be "he brought a charge in the Star Chamber against several men".
• "Allegations of forgery were brought against Pleydell in the Court of Chancery": this phrasing can mean either one charge, or multiple charges, so I would suggest amending this to "Multiple allegations" or "Several allegations".
• "(historically described as "scoundrels")": I think this needs a bit more inline attribution -- does the source say their contemporaries considered them scoundrels? Or is this from a single contemporary source?
• "keeping in mind that Pleydell's grandson Charles (then a minor) would inherit a considerable fortune": what's intended by "keeping in mind"?

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 18:23, 29 October 2016 (UTC)

Thanks again for picking this up Mike Christie, it's much appreciated. I've addressed your suggestions for improvement and hope I've fulfilled them adequately; a confirmation of this wouldn't go amiss. Cheers! Curlymanjaro (talk) 00:16, 5 November 2016 (UTC)

The fixes all look good, except that you might add "at that time" or "until <date>" to the note about two members being returned; I don't know when it changed but your wording might leave a reader unfamiliar with British politics thinking this was still the case. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:59, 7 November 2016 (UTC)

Further detail added, Mike Christie; I hope this clears things up. Curlymanjaro (talk) 01:47, 12 November 2016 (UTC)

Looks good; I tweaked it a bit. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:39, 13 November 2016 (UTC)