Wikipedia:Peer review/Edwin Astley/archive1

Edwin Astley[edit]

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I've listed this article for peer review because… If you look through the recent history, you will see that I have substantially reorganised and wikified the article. I am attempting to add as many citations as necessary to back up the article, although I seem to be coming up with the same sources for several facts (which I'm not overly keen on).

I'd very much like to have some suggesttions in what direction to take this article now - what bits still need work, what bits need cleaning up, and anything else I might have missed. The article was pretty poor before I made changes to it and I'd like to continue to improve it.

Many thanks, Howie ☎ 02:54, 16 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)

Expand the lead. If you're looking for GA or beyond then I'd check WP:LEAD for advice on how large the intro should be.
~~Date ranges need to use the en-dash, not the hyphen per WP:DASH.~~ Done Howie ☎ 13:05, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~Link composer in the lead.~~ Done Howie ☎ 13:05, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~TV - television.~~ Done Howie ☎ 13:05, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~Merge the early life/personal life bits, the sections are very short and probably would work better merged.~~ Done Howie ☎ 13:05, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~You need citations for the family sentences.~~ Done Howie ☎ 13:05, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~the Who should be The Who.~~ Done Howie ☎ 13:05, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~Is the Geraldo you link to the one you mean?~~ Done Howie ☎ 13:05, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~Citations should be placed immediately following punctuation per WP:CITE.~~ Done Howie ☎ 13:05, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~Last sentence of career needs citation.~~ Done Howie ☎ 13:05, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
As does first para of recordings.

That should help improve the article a little. All the best. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:07, 19 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much for your comments and suggestions. I've been doing my best to implement them. One thing I am stuck on is how to expand the lead section. I'm not entirely sure what information I can add that would expand it, that isn't already in the rest of the article. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Howie ☎ 13:05, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]