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Wikipedia:Peer review/Dragon Ball Z/archive1

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I think that there are a few things holding this article back from being really good, and I want some examples. -Malomeat 03:33, 7 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • The lead section is too long, should probably be three paragraphs, and there is too much discussion of the preceding and following work related to the subject of the article. That can be moved into an "introduction," such as "before working on DBZ, the author wrote..." or "the previous series dealt with..."
  • The section "Filler" should be retitled "Minor plots" or something like that
  • Currently the article is dominated by the long list of characters table and the huge list of sequels. Is it strictly necessary to include it all in this format? Kaisershatner 14:45, 7 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Let's see here...

  • Personally, I'm fine with the lead size, but I'm big on WP:IAR when it comes to exact paragraph numbers. The only thing I'd move is the mention of Neko Majin.
  • Plot: It's... okay. It's a little too event-oriented for my tastes (Goku fights, Goku trains, Goku learns that somebody else did something some time ago). Like most bad plot summaries it details the first arc, generalizes the next few arcs, and trails off after that. I would stick to the most general form, but that's my personal preference.
  • Fandom: The fandom doesn't matter. Once you start talking about the fandom you drift into fancruft, fanon, and other Wikipedia no-nos. Stick to citing sources showing how or why DBZ is "the most popular anime worldwide" (emphasis mine). Rename it to something like "reception" or "response".
  • Censorship: Too big in general. I know the "frothy mug of water" is infamous in the fandom, but the fandom doesn't matter. It'd really help if you could cite reasons why the censorship matters.
  • The rest: Liiiists. Lots and lots of liiiists. I'd prosify them if they weren't so goddamn LONG. Eeesh. For starters, you might move the list of games to something like "list of DB games" and leave a link and small section on the main page.

Hope that helps a little. Nifboy 01:53, 11 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]