Wikipedia:Peer review/Dante (Devil May Cry)/archive1

Dante (Devil May Cry)

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…

I think it is almost Featured article status. I just need someone to point out the flaws of the article so I can clean them up.

Thanks, Eoghan1234 (talk) 09:25, 27 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: This is generally well-written, and I enjoyed reading it. I have a few concerns about prose issues, image placement and licensing, and about Manual of Style issues. Here are my observations.

Conception and creation

"while survival horror players (and characters) must ration... " - Wikilink survival horror?
"Kamiya based his idea of Dante on what he perceived as "Stylish" -- with a long coat... ". - WP:EMDASH says in part, "Other dashes: These are avoided on Wikipedia, notably in two consecutive hyphens. (--)." Instead of the two consecutive hyphens, you can use an unspaced em dash or a spaced en dash. The em dash version looks like this: ""Kamiya based his idea of Dante on what he perceived as "Stylish"—with a long coat... ".

"For Tony Redgrave, By.45 Art Warks" - I'm just checking to make sure this quote is correct. Should there be a space between "By" and ".45", and is "Warks" a misspelling of Works?

Devil May Cry video games

MOS:IMAGES says in part, "Do not place left-aligned images directly below a subsection-level heading (=== or lower), as this sometimes disconnects the heading from the text that follows it." The image placement in this section violates the guideline. To solve the problem, you can move the image down or to the right.
"During the course of the game Dante is also reunited with his brother Vergil... " - Tighten slightly be deleting "also"?
"Devil May Cry 3 was much better received than the previous installment... " - "much more well-received" rather than "much better received"?
"He has considerably more dialog during cutscenes... " - "Cut scenes" is two words. Also, wikilink cut scenes?
"until he rescues Nero, who the player then uses for the game's final showdown." - "Whom" rather than "who" since it is the object of "uses"?
"By the end of the game, Dante and Nero seem to have a mutual respect towards one another." - "for" rather than "towards"?

Other appearances

Should PSP be spelled out on first use, thus: PlayStation Portable (PSP) for readers who might not recognize the abbreviation alone?
"North American/Maniax (director's cut)" - The front slash makes the combined terms ambiguous. Is the whole phrase a company name? Or is the company name Maniax, which operates in North America? Or something else?
MOS:IMAGES says in part, "Images should be inside the section they belong to (after the heading and after any links to other articles), and not above the heading." - IMAGE:Dante Nocturne.jpg overlaps two sections and should be moved into one or the other to avoid violating this guideline. The problem with doing that is that it won't fit in either. This may not be such a big problem because it's unlikely that fair-use rationales will be accepted for all three images. The question arises of whether all three are truly necessary for the reader to understand the text or whether one or more images are simply decorative. Deleting this image would solve both problems.

Cultural impact

"The series has become the game against which other 3D action games are measured, with comparisons in reviews of games including God Of War,[39][40] Chaos Legion,[41] and Blood Will Tell." - "With" is a weak connector here. Suggestion: "The series has become the game against which other 3D action games are measured, and it has been used as a basis of comparison in reviews of games including God Of War,[39][40] Chaos Legion,[41] and Blood Will Tell."
Wikilink IGN on first use?

References

MOS:BOLD advises against using bolding for emphasis. For this reason, it would be better to use italics, Dante, than bolding, Dante, and so on.
A space should follow the colon in constructions like Dante: Dante:Yeah, let's go all the way to hell!
The link checker tool that lives here finds at least four dead links in the citations.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 18:22, 2 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]