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Wikipedia:Peer review/Cumberland School of Law/archive1

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General (or specific) ideas on areas for improvement would be greatly appreciated Sweetmoose6 01:45, 8 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Automated review

[edit]

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, DrKiernan 16:08, 20 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Review by karanacs

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  • Make sure that all measurements are displayed in both metric and standard forms (I use {{convert}}
  • This sentence does not read well "The Center's location is convenient because of the proximity of the UAB medical centers and since Birmingham is noted as one of the current major emerging biotechnology markets with more than 90 biotech-related businesses in Alabama"
  • The history section should not be discussing the history of legal education in America. You should not need the first paragraph that describes the book you used as a reference.
  • Pre-Civil War section --
    • Need a citation at the end of a the quote.
    • The last sentence of the first paragraph is not clear, probably because the paragraph references both Cumb. School of Law and Cumb. University. You will need to speficy which Cumberland you are discussing.
    • The first two sentences of the first paragraph flow well. The last two don't flow well within the paragraph.
    • I don't think you need to include the second paragraph. Pull out the information about it being one of the top 3 law schools in 1859 and incorporate that into one of the following paragraphs.
  • This sentence does not belong at this point in the article. It would be a great sentence for the lead, or for later in the history section: "After the Civil War, this treatise method, the legal formalism of the school's approach and Nathan Green Jr.'s unwillingness to make changes, are all considered to be reasons for Cumberland's drift out of the mainstream."
  • Wikilink full dates.
  • You should probably wikilink to the Confederate Army and Union Army, as non-Americans might not know about the northern and southern states.
  • This sentence is clunky: "The destruction of the campus and the devestation of war had impoverished the school and it was almost fifteen years before it saw students enter from outside the South when a student from Illinois and a member of the Choctaw Nation enrolled at Cumberland. "
  • Need a citation for this sentence: "Today the law school is well known for its emphasis on Trial Advocacy and is building a biotechnology emphasis through its Center for Biotechnology, Law and Ethics."
  • The Reconstruction heading is not appropriate for this entire section. Reconstruction did not last until 1960. You can either rename it Post-Civil War or split it into two sections.
  • I don't see how the quotation from Cordell Hull fits into the paragraphs surrounding it.
  • The Institution section seems to be repeating facts from elsewhere in the article. It does not need a summary of the history section. The first paragraph of this section, with the quote from Carroll, seems applicable; I'd remove the rest of the section.
  • Need citations for the last two sentences of Life at Cumberland section.
  • Remove the sentence "See below for a list of publications, etc."
  • There are too many one-sentence paragraphs in Life at Cumberland section.
  • Remove the information about the Lucille Stewart Beeson law library (at least the Today, stuff) from the history section because it is in its own section later.
  • I would remove the lists of Student organizations and publications. If possible, make these into prose paragraphs with information about some of the listed activities. If you can do that, it should probably go into the Life at Cumberland section.
  • Many reviewers severely dislike Trivia sections (which is what your Miscellany is), and that could hurt you if you try for GA or FA. These are good facts, and I think you can incorporate them into the article (although I notice that some of them already are). Your notable alumni section should not include a list, but instead several paragraphs. You will have to pick and choose which ones you include because there are so many.
  • External links should be in an External links section, not in See Also.
  • References need to be properly formatted. See WP:citet for the citation templates.

Good luck! Karanacs 17:59, 31 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]