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Wikipedia:Peer review/Christina Aguilera/archive6

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Previous peer review

It's been over eight years since this article was last assessed and 13 years since its last peer review. A lot has happened in her career since then, including two studio albums, a return to touring, and a residency. The article has also gone through some format changes, with sections being reorganized and split to focus on specific topics. The article suffers from a lot of problems that need to be addressed, and I feel that this peer review will be very useful. Some sections are bloated, and the wording can be very awkward. Further more some sources might be outdated, since it's been so long since the last time this article was reviewed. However, I still think this article is close to being a GA candidate. Thanks, 204060baby (talk) 12:06, 25 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Z1720

[edit]

Comments after a quick skim:

  • The lede is quite long, and can possibly be shortened
    •  Done
  • "She attended Marshall Middle School in Wexford, Pennsylvania and North Allegheny Intermediate High School in McCandless, Pennsylvania before leaving the school to be homeschooled and avoid bullying she experienced there." Needs a citation
  • "Aguilera starred in the romantic science fiction Zoe, which was premiered at the Tribeca Film festival in April 2018, and was later released on July 20 by Amazon Studios." Needs a citation
    •  Done
  • Does the book in the Further reading section need to be there? It doesn't seem to do with Aguilera directly and might be promotional.
  • Forbes contributors are not considered reliable sources, per WP:FORBESCON.

I hope this helps. Z1720 (talk) 22:58, 28 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from AJona1992

[edit]
  • Not a fan of multiple usages of similar terms; rephrase the sentence "Referred to as the "Voice of a Generation", she is known for her four-octave vocal range and signature melismatic singing style" to → "Referred to as the "Voice of a Generation" due to her distinguished four-octave vocal span and distinctive melismatic approach to singing."
  • The following sentence is also plagued with the same issue; "she is", try "Recognized as an influential figure in popular music, Aguilera is ascribed with forging a path for contemporary artists who integrate frequently controversial motifs like feminism, sexuality, and LGBT culture into their musical repertoire."
  • "After appearing on television as a child" → "Following appearances on television in her youth"
  • "and Aguilera won the Grammy Award for Best New Artist." → "and procured the Grammy Award for Best New Artist"
  • "The latter two constituted a departure from her teen idol image and Stripped became one of the best-selling albums of the 21st century." → "Aguilera achieved sustained success with the releases of Mi Reflejo (2001), Stripped (2002), and the critically acclimed Back to Basics (2006). The latter two albums represented a significant departure from her portrayal as a teen idol, while Stripped became one of the best-selling albums of the 21st century."
  • "the latter reached number one on the Billboard Hot 100 making Aguilera one of the few artists to reach the top spot over three decades." → "the latter peaked at number one on the Billboard Hot 100, solidifying Aguilera's distinction as one of the select few artists to dominate the pinnacle of the music charts across three successive decades."
  • "she and was ranked the eighth" → needs fixing
  • There's dub links (David Browne)
  • There's also a lot of "her" and "she", needs a variety
  • I am finding too many instances with "is also"
  • Is it LGBT or LGBTQ? I found different variations used in the article
  • The New York Times is linked more than once in the article body as well as Stephen Thomas Erlewine and her honorific name. Possible that there are more instances of this throughout the article.
  • There are also harv warnings
  • Overall the article needs additional improvements, especially with the writing. I'd suggest submitting it through WP:GOCE/REQ before going through GA. Best of luck, – jona 20:13, 26 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]