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Wikipedia:Peer review/Burger King products/archive3

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Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I want to take to it FA status and I know it needs more improvements. I need a fresh set of eyes to look over this and point out areas needing improvement. Please feel free to nit pick as I want to get this as good as possible.

Thanks, Jeremy (blah blahI did it!) 10:41, 13 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

General issues

I've laid out some formatting issues below:

  •  Done The table of contents is overwhelming. Sections could either be merged, or sub-sections could be hidden from the table of contents (described at WP:TOC).
  • The article is 129 kilobytes. Consider putting some of the information into sub-pages, as articles over 100 kilobytes are usually split up. (per WP:SIZERULE)
  •  Done All non-decorative images need alt text that is not identical to the caption.  Working The captions in general also need work.
  • I'm confused about why the notes and references sections are separate. The see also section needs to come before the references/notes sections.
  • I'm not knowledgeable in this area, but I'm not sure about the copyright status of some of the photos, as they show the Burger King trademark. [1] I would seek advice about this before going to FA.

--Banana (talk) 06:56, 24 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]


Sandwiches and entrées

Comments just on the section 'Sandwiches and entrées'

  •  Done The lead contains information not in this section (such as that Insta-Burger king opened in Jacksonville, Florida).
  •  Done "As Burger King's flagship product, the Whopper is a line of sandwiches" explain if the whopper is a sandwich or a line of sandwiches. Is the whopper the flagship product or is it the whopper line?
    • I corrected this issue, the change was done by a copy editor during a recent sweep of the article by the COE guild.
  •  Done "The product, sold in the same style of container as the Chicken Tenders, was an order of fish sticks with Tartar sauce for dipping. Portion sizes were similar to those of the Chicken Tenders. The product was discontinued in 1990." Refer to the actual name of the product in one of these sentences.
  •  Done "To appeal to as many demographic groups as possible and to better compete with Wendy's, Burger King added a value menu in 1998" The next paragraph then beings in a similar way "to better appeal to the adult palate, BK introduced several new products to its menu in 2003, including . . ." I would rework one of the sentences.
  •  Done "Not all these products met corporate sales expectations." which products? by how much did they fail to meet expectations?
  •  Done "With the introduction of the new broilers in 2009, Burger King replaced the Angus Steakhouse burger with the 7 oz (200 g) Steakhouse XT burger." The broilers haven't been introduced at this point in the article and it is unclear to me why the broilers are mentioned. Were they introduced to make the new burger, or did an upgrade in technology allow BK to make this new sandwich?

--Banana (talk) 20:08, 24 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ancillaries
  • "In 1991, the company introduced Twister fries, spiral-cut fries with a spicy coating, as part of a promotional push." I would rewrite this sentence because I think having three phrases set off by commas makes the sentence hard to read. "As part of a 1991 promotional push. . . " or ". . . coating, as part of a promotional push in 1991" would both work (or some other arrangement).
Breakfast
  •  Done "In the late 1990s, BK co-branded several of its breakfast products with former parent Pillsbury; they introduced fresh-baked biscuit bread in 1996 and added miniature cinnamon rolls called Cini-Minis in 1998."Does they refer to Burger King or Pillsbury here?
Regionalization

--Banana (talk) 00:42, 26 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]