Wikipedia:Peer review/Battle of Gao and Timbuktu/archive1
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because as the major contributor to the page a second set of eyes would be great both for itself and a potential GA. Its also a current topic with several thousand hits a day, possibly mentioned in the media soon too. Would particualrly like to check for grammar and overlink. I think refs are fine, but if the reviewer sees something else id be glad to crrect it.
Thanks, Lihaas (talk) 12:58, 3 July 2012 (UTC)
It might be a good idea to get a picture from the conflict. That would help to illustrate it. And add a section detailing the conclusion, and aftermath if possible. Cbrittain10 (talk|contribs) 18:58, 9 July 2012 (UTC)
- No free image yet, all on media outlets.
- Nothing affirmed that its ended...just slowed in the last week.Lihaas (talk) 15:59, 10 July 2012 (UTC)
- Comments
- Would suggest lengthening the lead a bit
- Don't use bare URLs as references
- Don't duplicate the article title in a section heading
- End of days is a dab link
- In general, the article is a bit hard to follow as someone who is unfamiliar with this conflict. Is there any way to make it a bit more accessible?
- Long quote in Reactions should be a block quote. Nikkimaria (talk) 02:12, 10 July 2012 (UTC)
wIll add to the lead. I guess the raction controversy should do, bit of background toowillreflinksusually we differentiate it, but should we just remove "battle of"?will correct.- more bacground? we do have the link. What part confuses and well be glad to assist. Would need that second eye.
Good pt. will doLihaas (talk) 15:59, 10 July 2012 (UTC)- Coming at this without any real background knowledge, even if the links exist to explain more, it's a lot easier if we at least have the basics here. For example, in what country is Gao? The first sentence is structured rather oddly, kind of hard to follow. What are OIC and ICC? Neither are linked in the lead. You say the ICC was "following Mali's lead", but it's not clear what Mali's response was. Are MNLA and MLNA the same thing? Did the territory secede before or after it was captured? You begin the Battle section with "Fighting began in the morning" - which day? What is MUJAO? etc. Nikkimaria (talk) 17:29, 11 July 2012 (UTC)
The name of the country would be helpful somewhere in the lead's first paragraph. I don't have any knowledge about the topic. So here are a few questions. In the background section, there is only mention of events in 2012. Is this only the instant cause of this battle and is there a longer history to why this battle took place? Another question is this part of a larger war? If yes, it could go into the lead section. Kingjeff (talk) 03:32, 12 July 2012 (UTC)