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Wikipedia:Peer review/Argentina, 1985/archive1

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I've listed this article for peer review because I want to eventually submit it for a good article nomination. I'm looking for sections that may be incomplete, text that may be too WP:JARGONy, where language may not be clear and/or in need of c/e, since English is not my first language. Preferably, peer reviewers should have a general knowledge of the Manual of Style/Film.

Thanks, —El Millo (talk) 02:32, 1 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Z1720

[edit]

Comments after a quick skim:

  • The "Cast" section has extra information that should be moved to other sections. For example, "Darín and director Mitre opted not to mimic the voice and mannerisms of Strassera, taking "a degree of artistic liberty" with the performance." should be placed in a "Production" or "Development" section.
  • The Cast section has lots of bullet point entries. I suggest taking the second half of this list and putting it in prose.
  • There's lots of information that is not needed in the article. For example, "Mitre mentioned political thrillers All the President's Men (1976) by Alan J. Pakula" Why does "by Alan J. Pakula" need to be mentioned in this article? Try to remove information that does not advance the reader's understanding of this particular film.
  • "Amazon stepped into the project" -> "Amazon joined the project" to avoid MOS:IDIOM
  • The Reception section falls into the "X says Y" pattern, is quite long, and over-relies on quotes. I suggest reading WP:RECEPTION for ways to combine commentary and vary the writing style.

I hope this helps. You might want to consider an FAC run after GAN. Z1720 (talk) 21:44, 22 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the input. I'll get to it soon. —El Millo (talk) 01:35, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]