Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of Medal of Honor recipients for World War I/archive1
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- The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The list was not promoted by Matthewedwards 19:06, 11 July 2009 [1].
- Nominator(s): Kumioko (talk) 19:53, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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I am nominating this for featured list because it meets all the criteria. Kumioko (talk) 19:53, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Weak oppose from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)
- Normally I wouldn't say this, but I think there should be a link to World War I.
- Done. --Kumioko (talk) 18:37, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "World War I (the First World War, the Great War), was a global military conflict from 1914 to 1918, centered in Europe." I'd recommend using the wording from the main article, with a few amendments: "World War I (also known as the First World War and the Great War) was a global military conflict that embroiled most of the world's great powers, assembled in two opposing alliances: the Entente and the Central Powers." If necessary, you can borrow the references from the main article too.
- Done. --Kumioko (talk) 18:37, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "Over 40 million casualties"-->More than 40 million casualties
- Done. --Kumioko (talk) 18:37, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "Over 60 million"-->More than 60 million
- Done. --Kumioko (talk) 19:01, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- I'd recommend moving the second and third sentences to the end of the first paragraph.
- Done. --Kumioko (talk) 19:01, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while engaged in an action against an enemy of the United States" Missing period after this.
- Done. --Kumioko (talk) 19:01, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "frequently it is presented posthumously"-->it is frequently presented posthumously
- Done. --Kumioko (talk) 19:01, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "One hundred twenty four men"-->One hundred twenty-four men
- Done. --Kumioko (talk) 19:06, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "who later became the basis for a movie by the same name" Ref?
- Done. I reworded this a little so Let me know if I still need a ref. --Kumioko (talk) 19:20, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "and Edward Rickenbacker who became a famous flying ace. " I think a reference is needed for this, and comma after "Rickenbacker".
- Done. --Kumioko (talk) 19:20, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "and was the first Marine aviator to received the Medal of Honor."-->and was the first Marine aviator to receive the Medal of Honor.
- Done. --Kumioko (talk) 18:37, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "When all the officers with his platoon had become casualties" Don't mince words. Were they killed?
- Done. This was a quote from the citation. I clarified it. --Kumioko (talk) 21:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "beyond our lines, under constant machinegun fire, and rescued 2 wounded officers." Who is "our"? Per MOS we shouldn't use first-person language (we, our, us etc.)
- This was a quote from the citation.--Kumioko (talk) 21:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- The notes need to be proofread. I'll see if I can come by later this week and clean it up, but am not making promises. Dabomb87 (talk) 17:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Sources
- http://www.jimmyatkinson.com/papers/versaillestreaty.html deadlinks, and what makes it reliable?
- Done. I replaced this with another ref. --Kumioko (talk) 21:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- What makes http://www.firstworldwar.com/features/casualties.htm and http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/F/firstworldwar/index.html reliable? Considering the info being sourced, it shouldn't be hard to find high-quality sources. Dabomb87 (talk) 17:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. I replaced this with another ref. --Kumioko (talk) 21:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- In addition to the items you mentioned above I fixed several other things, added images and cleaned up some notes. Please feel free to goo back through and or proofread the notes. --Kumioko (talk) 21:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Regarding the quoted material in my comments above, please remember to put anything directly taken from the source in quotes. Dabomb87 (talk) 21:32, 8 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- The first one mentioned, ref 2, is still present. By the site editors own admission "it is not recommended that this site be used for academic reference purposes" however there is a lot of listed sources. I think this source is borderline, what about you Dabomb? Rambo's Revenge (talk) 22:14, 8 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- In addition to the items you mentioned above I fixed several other things, added images and cleaned up some notes. Please feel free to goo back through and or proofread the notes. --Kumioko (talk) 21:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Oppose from Rambo's Revenge (talk · contribs)
- Can you fix the image in the Infobox as it is not aligning to the centre properly and I think it looks really unprofessional.
- Done. not sure I see what you are seeing but I measured it and it was a little off center to the left so I made a change that brought the image to center. --Kumioko (talk) 13:25, 9 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- The quote "conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while engaged in an action against an enemy of the United States" ref 1 mentions gallantry etc. Quotes need cites.
- One hundred twenty-four men were awarded the Medal of Honor for their actions in World War I, I know it is following MOSNUM by not starting sentences with numbers but actually a reword would be better. e.g. "The Medal of Honor was awarded to 124 men ..."
- Try and integrate "Thirty-three of the awards were posthumous." into the previous sentence for 2 reasons, one to avoid spelling out 33, and because it is a comparable quantity so should be consistent with the others.
- american flying ace -> American
- Done. --Kumioko (talk) 13:25, 9 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Concerns in notes, now I won't pretend to have looked at them all but here are 3 examples I did look at and comments on them:
- John H. Balch: Risked his own life to provide medical care to soldiers and Marines wounded in fighting, a good paraphrasing of the source
- Harold L. Turner: After his platoon had started the attack Cpl. Turner assisted in organizing a platoon consisting of the battalion scouts, runners, and a detachment of Signal Corps. As second in command of this platoon he fearlessly led them forward through heavy enemy fire, continually encouraging the men. Later he encountered deadly machinegun fire which reduced the strength of his command to but 4 men, and these were obliged to take shelter. The enemy machinegun emplacement, 25 yards (23 m) distant, kept up a continual fire from 4 machineguns. After the fire had shifted momentarily, Cpl. Turner rushed forward with fixed bayonet and charged the position alone capturing the strong point with a complement of 50 Germans and 1 machineguns. This has no quotation marks and is copied verbatum from this. This is highly concerning and above all else copyright violation.
- William B. Turner: "[L]ed a small group of men to the attack, under terrific artillery and machinegun fire, after they had become separated from the rest of the company in the darkness. Single-handed he rushed an enemy machinegun which had suddenly opened fire on his group and killed the crew with his pistol. He then pressed forward to another machinegun post 25 yards (23 m) away and had killed 1 gunner himself by the time the remainder of his detachment arrived and put the gun out of action. With the utmost bravery he continued to lead his men over 3 lines of hostile trenches, cleaning up each one as they advanced, regardless of the fact that he had been wounded 3 times, and killed several of the enemy in hand-to-hand encounters. After his pistol ammunition was exhausted, this gallant officer seized the rifle of a dead soldier, bayoneted several members of a machinegun crew, and shot the other. Upon reaching the fourth-line trench, which was his objective, 1st Lt. Turner captured it with the 9 men remaining in his group and resisted a hostile counterattack until he was finally surrounded and killed." Similar to the above in copying this verbatum, but in using quotations it does not give the impression that it is your work. However is the whole quote really needed, could it not paraphrased.
- Summarising, you need to be very careful of copyright violations. Many of the notes can be paraphrased and unnecessary taking of text as wrote from here does not constitute fair use.
- As far as the issue of being a copyright violation thats a non issue here because they are the actual Medal of Honor citations which is a freedom of information act and is fair use. But I agree that they should be paraphrased or in quotes if it cannot be easily paraphrased. I thought I took care of them but I will go back through again and look at them again starting with the ones you identified. --Kumioko (talk) 14:39, 9 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Actually, I'm pretty sure the Freedom of Information Act does not by itself guarantee that the works of the government are public domain. It gives people the right to know what information is in government files, but it does not imply that any government work can be used by anybody without permission. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 14:56, 9 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- As far as the issue of being a copyright violation thats a non issue here because they are the actual Medal of Honor citations which is a freedom of information act and is fair use. But I agree that they should be paraphrased or in quotes if it cannot be easily paraphrased. I thought I took care of them but I will go back through again and look at them again starting with the ones you identified. --Kumioko (talk) 14:39, 9 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- I made some changes to the citations as work fields were being confused with title fields and I standardised date format.
Rambo's Revenge (talk) 22:14, 8 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks. --Kumioko (talk) 13:25, 9 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Oppose until alternative text for images is added. Dabomb87 (talk) 01:31, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Sorry I don't understand could you give me an example of an article that has it? --Kumioko (talk) 01:40, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Joseph Priestley. Dabomb87 (talk) 01:43, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Is this a new requirement, knowone has ever mentioned this before? I have not done this to ANY of the other MOH lists that have been approved nor have I seen it in any that I have reviewed recently.--Kumioko (talk) 01:46, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- I know. See this discussion. That the images in this list don't even have captions make alt text necessary, I think. Sorry for bringing this up now. Dabomb87 (talk) 01:49, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Is this a new requirement, knowone has ever mentioned this before? I have not done this to ANY of the other MOH lists that have been approved nor have I seen it in any that I have reviewed recently.--Kumioko (talk) 01:46, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Joseph Priestley. Dabomb87 (talk) 01:43, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.