Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of Kings XI Punjab cricketers/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was promoted by Giants2008 17:11, 4 September 2012 [1].

List of Kings XI Punjab cricketers

Featured list candidates/List of Kings XI Punjab cricketers/archive1

Nominator(s): Thine Antique Pen 14:01, 17 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured list because I have created it from scratch and would like it to become a featured list. Thine Antique Pen 14:01, 17 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from TheSpecialUser (talk) 01:02, 19 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
*Comment - Can you provide WP:ALT for images? TheSpecialUser ^TSU 01:02, 19 August 2012 (UTC)[reply] Done Thine Antique Pen 08:54, 19 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support - No problems. TheSpecialUser ^TSU 09:48, 19 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from TBrandley (talk) 22:25, 19 August 2012‎ (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Unlink million as per WP:OVERLINK; common term
Categories should be sorted in alphabetical order

TBran dl ey 02:41, 20 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done both. Thine Antique Pen 13:08, 20 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support. TBran dl ey 13:52, 20 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support--Vyom25 (talk) 05:48, 29 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from NapHit (talk) 18:55, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments'

You provide an abbreviation for Kings XI Punjab, yet don't use it, either use it or scrap the abbreviation

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 21:17, 22 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"In November 2010, the team filed a petition of arbitration (appeal) to the Bombay High Court to challenge the decision.[3] The appeal was accepted on 16 December 2010." -> The team filed a petition of arbitration (appeal) to the Bombay High Court in November 2010, challenging the decision, which was accepted a month later"

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 21:17, 22 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Really don't like the majority of the sentences in the second para starting with "In..." vary it up, also the para is a load of short sentences bunched together, so it doesn't flow at all, needs copyediting

Varied Thine Antique Pen (talk) 08:47, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"...scoring 1603 runs" 1603 should be 1,603

Fixed Thine Antique Pen (talk) 21:17, 22 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Inn should be under the Batting header , not the general header as is currently the case

Fixed Thine Antique Pen (talk) 08:47, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The alt text has not been done correctly, see WP:ALT, you're supposed to describe the picture to someone who can't see it, not just rehash the caption

Re-done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 08:47, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

ref 10, Indian Express should be in italics as its a printed publication

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 08:47, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

ref 16 is the only one with the publisher linked, remove it for consistency

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 08:47, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

NapHit (talk) 21:01, 22 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"...because the teams had been signed by people who were not members of the consortium." This needs to be clarified, what consortium? what teams had been signed mean? Need to be clearer

Clarified Thine Antique Pen (talk) 21:17, 22 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Not done, all you've done now is make the sentence factually incorrect. After reading the source, the owners are the consortium, so you should open the second sentence with "The franchise is owned by a consortium, including..." to avoid confusion. BCCi are not a consortium as you've changed it to. Still not sure what you're referring to when you teams had been signed, makes no sense. NapHit (talk) 18:55, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Re-done. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:39, 25 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Really don't like the majority of the sentences in the second para starting with "In..." vary it up, also the para is a load of short sentences bunched together, so it doesn't flow at all, needs copyediting

Varied Thine Antique Pen (talk) 08:47, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Again third para needs a copy edit just reads like a list, with the sentences reading similarly, try and vary the structure up

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 08:47, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Not done, still reads awfully lost of short sentences, with no flow, needs to be copyedited by a native english speaker. NapHit (talk) 18:55, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

ref 3 Times of India should be The Times of India

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:35, 25 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

we have ESPNcricinfo and ESPN Cricinfo, should be ESPN Cricinfo throughout

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:35, 25 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Nope, ref 13 is ESPNcricinfo. NapHit (talk) 22:39, 25 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

ref 10 Indian Express should be The Indian Express

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:35, 25 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

ref 13 Cricket Nirvana, not convinced this is a reliable site needs replacing

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:35, 25 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The prose is not representative of our best work, and needs a heavy copyedit from a native English speaker and uninvolved editor. Until this is corrected I'm afraid I will have to ~~oppose~~. NapHit (talk) 18:55, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GOCE request submitted. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:35, 25 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

As the GOCE request has not been responded to I've taken it upon myself to copyedit the prose. As a result I will refrain from supporting or opposing the nomination and have marked my comments as resolved. NapHit (talk) 15:44, 30 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Removed from page. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:36, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from ♛♚★Vaibhav Jain★♚♛ ^Talk ^Email 16:33, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

In the second para of the lead, you have provided season wise statistics and how much matches they won. I would rather like to know their rank in the league table.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 16:07, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Have you included NR is determining the win%? If yes/no, add a note which tells that.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 16:07, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Why is wicket capitalized in the last para of the lead?

Uncapitalised Thine Antique Pen (talk) 16:07, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

If you are sorting by last name, why are Azhar Mahmood and Harmeet Singh up the list, an why is Yuvraj Singh down.

Seems OK to me. It sorts by last name. I believe it only sorts by first name when the surnames are the same. Looks good to me. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 16:07, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

You have to add the captains symbol to every one who had captained the team, not only the current ones. Same with wicket-keeper.

Done all Thine Antique Pen (talk) 16:07, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"On 10 October 2010, the Board of Control ... accepted a month later." Too much details about a legal incident in a players list? 2 line are enough.

Cut Thine Antique Pen (talk) 16:07, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

♛♚★Vaibhav Jain★♚♛ ^Talk ^Email 15:55, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

All issues addressed Thine Antique Pen (talk) 16:07, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Some more comments

The images captions and the table headings should use KXIP instead of Kings XI Punjab.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 13:43, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

You need a add a source for the wicket-keeper sign, similar to the captains sign.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 13:43, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

You need to add some details about the tables in the lead. Currently the reader won't know how the list is initially sorted.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 13:43, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Jayawardene didn't captained KXIP in 2012.

He did, per this. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 13:43, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Check again. :) It says 2010.

Fixed Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:11, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Piyush Chawla has played 71 matches, the most played by any KXIP player." Can be shortened.

Could you tell me how it could be shortened, without a good level of readability? Thine Antique Pen (talk) 13:43, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Piyush Chawla has played 71 matches, the most by any KXIP player."

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:11, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"With ten international cricketers in 2009" Really not of encyclopedic value. Almost each team has a no. of international players near to the allowed no. of 11.

Keeping for variation.

"seven losses and victories" Maybe you could add each.

The article is meant to be more specific to the players, meaning I am only including the numbers. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 13:43, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Gilly's cricinfo page doesn't says that he is the captain of KXIP.

This references it. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 13:43, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Then replace ref 14.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:11, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

♛♚★Vaibhav Jain★♚♛ ^Talk ^Email 12:58, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support ♛♚★Vaibhav Jain★♚♛ ^Talk ^Email 16:33, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from Giants2008 (Talk) 20:02, 1 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments –

to acquire the franchise. The franchise...". Try to avoid the obvious repetition from one sentence to the next.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:28, 29 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Shaun Marsh is the leading run scorer, scoring 1,603 runs." The use of "scorer" and "scoring" is quite repetitive as well. I know it isn't easy to work with items like this, but try modifying one of them for better prose.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:28, 29 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Why is the HS column not sortable? That seems like a column where the ability to see the highest scores might come in handy for readers.

Sorting added Thine Antique Pen (talk) 15:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Don't see any need for an IPL league image in the middle of a See also section. I was under the impression that we had a special box to display a related portal in an article. Maybe that could be used instead.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:28, 29 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Giants2008 (Talk) 02:21, 26 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

All issues addressed. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 15:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from The Rambling Man (talk) 17:14, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Perhaps add "actress" before "Preity Zinta" as some international readers may not aware of her significance.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 11:16, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"paid a total of " no need for "a total of".

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 11:16, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Expand BCCI before using the abbreviation.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 11:16, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Final sentence of first para is in an odd place for me, I'd merge it into the second para.

Merged Thine Antique Pen (talk) 11:16, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"reached the semi-final and finished in second position" I'm not sure how IPL works but how can you finish second if you only make the semi-final?

Fixed Thine Antique Pen (talk) 11:16, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Second para is a little dry and focuses entirely on the team, not the players (the subject of this list), I'd expand the players para and reduce this.

Expanded Thine Antique Pen (talk) 11:16, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"the highest in the team" you mean "the most"?

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 11:16, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"with 73 overall" what is the purpose of "overall"?

Copy-edited Thine Antique Pen (talk) 11:16, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I think, since the IPL is notable as a result of its auction for expensive foreigners, you could add nationality of these players as a column.

Done Thine Antique Pen (talk) 11:16, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

It would be better if the nationality column was next to the player name. The Rambling Man (talk) 11:47, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

OK; done. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 11:57, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 09:44, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.