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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Yugoslav submarine Mališan/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by FrB.TG via FACBot (talk) 25 March 2024 [1].


Nominator(s): Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:22, 10 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about a dinky little midget sub that was built by the Italians for harbour defence and anti-submarine warfare tasks in WWII, but was incomplete at the time of the Italian armistice in September 1943, and ended up being handed over to the Italian Social Republic (rump fascist Italy) by the Germans after capture and completion. Captured by the Yugolavs at the end of the war, they repaired and commissioned her for use as a training boat. In 1953 she became a museum boat (a long way from the sea in Zagreb), and she was recently refurbished. There has been some controversy about returning her to her Italian colours and markings rather than retaining her Yugoslav ones. Have at it! Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:22, 10 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

Done, thanks Nikkimaria! Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:37, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

RoySmith

[edit]
  • The lead says "Malisan ... was a CB-class midget submarine", but that's only hinted at in the body. It should be stated explicitly somewhere, probably as the first sentence of Design and construction"
Done. Thanks. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:50, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Australian English, but point well made. Added. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:50, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The inner pressure hull contained..." that makes it sound like there's an inner pressure hull and an outer pressure hull, which I don't think is what you intended.
Quite, removed "inner". Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:50, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the steel used for the outer hull was not of high quality and highly prone to rust." how about, "the steel used for the outer hull was poor quality and prone to rust"
Much better, done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:50, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Early boats of the class were deployed to the Black Sea in mid-1942 where they had some successes against submarines of the Soviet Black Sea Fleet." This is out of place in a paragraph that talks about the construction details.
Fair enough, moved. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:50, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the Caproni company in Milan[2] – better known as an aircraft manufacturer": This sounds like Milan was an aircraft manufacturer; rephrase to make it clear you're talking about Caproni.
Sure, done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:50, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The boat measures 15 m (49 ft 3 in) in length", simplify to "The boat is 15 m (49 ft 3 in) long"
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:50, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Related to the previous, be consistent about past vs present tense, generally throughout the article.
I don't think that is possible logically, as some things remain current (such as her length), other things (such as her propulsion of draught) are in the past, as she is no longer powered and no longer sails. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:50, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "powered by a total of 308 batteries" -> "powered by 308 batteries"
  • "which were located under the control room and were charged by" -> "which were located under the control room and charged by"
  • "The maximum speed achieved by the boat was" -> "The maximum speed was", I think everybody can figure out that it's the boat's speed that's being referred to.
  • "surfaced and 6 kn (11 km/h; 6.9 mph) when underwater", drop the "when"
  • "When surfaced, at a speed of 7.5 kn (13.9 km/h; 8.6 mph) the boat had a range of only 450 nautical miles (830 km; 520 mi), at 5 kn (9.3 km/h; 5.8 mph) her range was 1,400 nmi (2,600 km; 1,600 mi)" I'd suggest rewording this as "Running at full speed on the surface, the boat had a range of 450 nautical miles (830 km; 520 mi); at 5 kn (9.3 km/h; 5.8 mph) this increased to 1,400 nmi (2,600 km; 1,600 mi)"
  • "When submerged, at a speed of 3 kn (5.6 km/h; 3.5 mph) the boat had a range of 60 nmi (110 km; 69 mi)." Likewise, I'd say "Submerged, at 3kn (...), the range was 60 nmi (...)"
  • For all of these specifications, it would be useful to provide comparisons to other contemporary designs.
  • "She was completed in Milan by March 1944", did Caproni complete the work, or did another builder take over?
  • "it was forced to return" Return to where?
  • " Her crew surrendered but were later killed by the JA along with other members of the Xª MAS.[7]" It's not clear what "along with" is joining. Are you saying "the crew and other members of the X MAS were killed" or "The JA and other members of the X MAS did the killing"?
  • "Mališan was commissioned into the JRM in 1953, and they used the submarine for training ..." -> "In 1953, Mališan was commissioned into the JRM, who used it for training ..."

I'll probably make another pass later, but that's what I see on a first read. RoySmith (talk) 03:14, 15 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

PS, I would add that you need MOS:ALT texts for all images, but I see that Nikkimaria already said that, so I'll just say that you should listen to her :-) RoySmith (talk) 03:51, 15 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
This is done now, thanks. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:37, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
One other thing I noticed; reading over the MilHist assessment the question was brought up about how the batteries were charged. While "batteries ... were charged by running the diesel engine on the surface" isn't wrong, it would be more correct to say they were charged by (for example) an alternator driven from the diesel engine. Diesel engines don't produce electricity, but they can (and almost always do) drive an alternator, dynamo, or some other kind of generator. In fact, given that there's an electric motor on the same shaft, I wouldn't be surprised if that motor doubled as a generator when the diesel was running, and maybe even served as the starter motor for the diesel. If there's a WP:RS which speaks to this, it would be useful to go into some detail. If not, then what you've got now is fine.
If you can find it, relevant details would be the battery voltage, capacity in AH (amp-hours), and how long it took to recharge. If you can find something that says what the battery chemistry was, include that; I'd be astounded if it was anything other than wet cell lead-acid, but if not, then even more interesting to include. RoySmith (talk) 00:13, 18 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
https://www.maritimequest.com/warship_directory/italy/pages/submarines/cb_20_data.htm claims Malisan had the 100 HP electric motor you say was only on previous boats of this class. That site also has different numbers from you for submerged speed and submerged range. Any idea why the discrepancy? RoySmith (talk) 16:09, 18 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Peacemaker67 I haven't seen any responses, so pinging you to make sure you're aware of the above review. RoySmith (talk) 20:18, 27 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks, I’ll get right into this! Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 21:05, 27 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Volcanoguy

[edit]
  • The submarine had been on display for almost fifty years. Given that this article mainly uses double digit numbers in numeral format, fifty would probably better off as 50 for consistency. Comments welcomed FAC here. Volcanoguy 18:05, 26 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Pickersgill-Cunliffe

[edit]

Will take a look after the above comments are actioned. Give me a ping once you're finished! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 12:11, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.