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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ealdgyth via FACBot (talk) 7 July 2020 [1].


Nominator(s): Pseud 14 (talk) 23:56, 9 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Back at this after the previous nomination a couple years ago. Worked on trimming down the article and issues with sourcing beginning last month. Worked on improving content and prose since the last PR and FAC, as well as C/Es in the last couple weeks. Ready to bring this back for nom and hoping for more constructive criticisms.

A pre-emptive comment re spot checks – as it was recommended to look at sourcing prior to putting this back, Ceranthor has been kind enough to help on source checks before I went on break, and while no significant changes were made on the article during that period, hunkering down at home also gave me time to work on doing my due diligence on sourcing. Pseud 14 (talk) 23:56, 9 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Aoba47

[edit]
Addressed comments
  • I am uncertain if fixed image sizes are allowed for a featured article (i.e. the "140px", "150px" used on certain images in the article). I am not too familiar with image policy. so this is probably a better discussion for whoever does the image review, but I just wanted to raise this to your attention.
  • I have noticed two of the image captions use the phrase "performing live" in some manner. I would cut out the word "live" as that could be assumed from context.
  • Done
  • I am not sure if the Cameron Mackintosh image makes sense in this article. It is a little strange to include the image since Regine refused his invitation.
  • Good point, I was aiming for a reference since it was a key point in her career, but she never got the break, so I've removed.
  • I am uncertain of the audio samples. I have always been told to keep non-free media usage to a minimal, and I think an audio sample for this kind of article would only be applicable if it represents a larger trend in her musical style or voice. I am not sure if the two audio samples do either.
  • Removed
  • Make sure the references are in numeric order. I see a few instances where this is not the case.
  • Fixed. I've checked the order if more than one source is used, and that it's chronological. I've used the same earlier citations mostly in the first 2 sections, so it does get repeated throughout.
  • Fixed
  • I believe Ang Bagong Kampeon should be in italics as it is the name of a television program. I am also a little confused by the years. The Wikipedia article for this show says that it started in 1985, but on here, it says she won in 1984?
  • Done. Seems weird but the article doesn't have a clear sourcing and timeline for the show though. I definitely have all my sources refer to 1984 [2] [3], and she was born 1970, and joined at 14 [4] believe that gives us the math.
  • For this part, Velasquez signed with OctoArts International and released the non-album single "Love Me Again" under the name Chona in 1986, I would move the "under the name Chona" phrase after OctoArts International as I am assuming she signed the record deal with this name. Also, the which phrase should go right after the single title.
  • Fixed
  • This is more of a personal preference, but I think the phrase "standalone single" would work better than "non-album single".
  • Believe for most FA Bio's or Discographies that term non-album single has been widely used. Was a bit ambivalent using it either, I would think it's better off as 'single'
  • Thank you for the explanation. I agree "single" by itself is the best option of the three as it is much more concise, but "non-album single" is fine too. Aoba47 (talk) 00:33, 13 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is there a reason for the abrupt jump from talking about her debut album at the end of the lead's first paragraph to talking about her sixth and seventh albums at the start of the second paragraph?
  • Given that she's had 17 studio albums (which I could not fit discussing or listing in the lead), I jumped straight to album 6, 8 and 9, as these records jump-started her pan-Asian career and worth mentioning. Also, I removed referring to the albums as sixth, seventh, etc...
  • Done
  • I have a question about this part: full conceptual and creative control. What is the difference between conceptual control and creative control? They sound like the same thing to me, and I would cut it down to just "creative control".
  • Done
  • I would remove the cover songs link from the lead to instead link cover album as they are both essentially the same concept and the album phrasing comes first.
  • Decided to remove that mention, since I removed listing the tracks, so the flow is cohesive to the next sentence.
  • Removed
  • For this part, in the romantic comedy film Pangako Ikaw Lang (2001), for which she received a Box Office Entertainment Award and the drama series Maalaala Mo Kaya (2002), there should be a comma after the award name.
  • I think the dash is used rather awkwardly in this part, Having sold more than 8.5 million records—including 1.5 million in Asia, and I would revise this sentence to take it out.
  • Reworded
  • I am uncertain if this sentence is necessary: She has amassed an extensive catalog, with singles such as "Narito Ako", "Kailangan Ko'y Ikaw", "Tuwing Umuulan", "Dadalhin" and "Araw Gabi". I think it is already pretty clear that she has a large catalog by the amount of albums she put out, and I am not certain about including a seemingly random list of her singles in the lead.
  • Removed
  • I am also uncertain about this sentence: In 2011, she was ranked first in FemaleNetwork's list of 25 Best Filipina Singers and was included among Top 10 of Asia's Most Admired Female Singers. I do not believe these two lists should be in the lead as it gives undue weight to two seemingly random 2011 lists. I think it would be better to instead go right into the next sentence, which I think more clearly defines her reputation and legacy as a singer.
  • Removed
  • I believe you have to use the subject's full name when you reference them for the first time in the body of the article (i.e. Regine Velasquez was born on April 22, 1970 in Tondo, Manila,).
  • Fixed
  • The information about Regine winning a reality show and getting a record deal is repeated in two sentences: (Velasquez won the season and signed a record deal.) and (After winning Ang Bagong Kampeon, Velasquez was signed to OctoArts International.). I would keep this information in the "Early life" section and then start the "1986–1989: Career beginnings and Regine" subsection with a sentence on the "Love Me Again" single instead.
Done
  • I think the "—her nickname—" is rather awkwardly put into the sentence. I would think of a different way of wording that information.
  • Revised
  • I was a little confused by the wikilink in this part, Velasquez was invited to appear on her late night musical, as I thought it would go to an article about "late night musicals" rather than "late night television" in general. I find it somewhat misleading.
  • Fixed. Put it in as "late night television"
  • This sentence, While rehearsing, the show's producer and talent manager Ronnie Henares showed interest and signed her, is not grammatically correct as it literally reads that Ronnie Henares was doing the rehearsing not Regine.
  • Clarified that.
  • I have a comment for this part: from the 1945 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical Carousel and "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" from the musical Dreamgirls. The two musical have two very different descriptive phrases. The first includes a year and the songwriters while the second one is just musical. I am not sure the year is particularly helpful, and I would just refer to both as simply musicals to keep the prose more concise.
  • Done
  • I think the following sentence sounds a little off, (She worked with Louie Ocampo for the album's lead single "Narito Ako", a song originally recorded and performed by Maricris Bermont and written by Nonong Pedero for the 1978 Metro Manila Popular Music Festival.), since it calls it both a single and a song. That part seems rather repetitive to me. Maybe say "which was originally..." instead?
  • Done
  • Done
  • I have a comment for this sentence: David Gonzales of AllMusic described the album as "more attuned to international ears," but felt Velasquez's vocals were "thin and unimpressive.". I do not think the "but" makes sense in this context se these both seem like negative statements about the album.
  • Should be 'and', fixed.

I hope these comments are helpful. These are things that I have noticed up to the "1994–1998: Listen Without Prejudice and My Love Emotion" subsection. Apologies for not getting to the entire article in one round. I am trying to read through the article thoroughly. A majority of my comments are very nitpick-oriented so it's not as much as it may seem. I'll collapse the comments when they are addressed and continue the review from there. It is always fun to read about someone I've honestly never heard of before starting Wikipedia. Aoba47 (talk) 19:42, 12 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Thanks for your review, the above should be addressed. Let me know if I missed anything. Cheers! Pseud 14 (talk) 22:41, 12 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for addressing everything. Aoba47 (talk) 02:12, 13 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • I have a comment about this sentence: (The album debuted in several countries in Southeast and East Asia including: China, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan and Thailand.). The word "debuted" seems weird in this context. Do you mean "released" instead?
  • Revised to 'release'
  • I have a question about punctuation with quotation marks. I do not think punctuation should be within a pair of quotation marks unless you are quoting a full sentence. I am referencing parts like this: (describing it as "an outstanding vehicle, containing a strong melody and hook in the chorus.)
  • Thanks for spotting, fixed.
  • For this part, (making it the best-selling album of her career.), I would clarify that it was the best-selling album of her career at that point in time.
  • It's her biggest selling to date. Clarified
  • For this part (By 1995, Velasquez's sixth studio album), I do not think "by" makes sense in this context. I would say "in" instead and would move it to the end of the sentence to avoid having it be too similar to the previous paragraph.
  • Always a struggle to begin a new para without making it look too similar with the previous. I've done the above
  • I would avoid using the phrase "hit singles" as "hit" is too informal.
  • Revised
  • Done
  • Has Regine ever talked about her work as a producer?
She has, but these are articles dating back to 1999, and are mostly found in forums, which isn't reliable sourcing. She has mentioned it here in passing [5] (article in Filipino), and Billboard has also cited how the album was marketed [6] which was her concept. But then adding this would just lengthen this section, so I made it brief.
  • The word "platinum" is linked multiple times.
  • Fixed
  • Again, thanks for spotting. Fixed.
  • For this sentence, (Velasquez took a hiatus from public engagements following confirmation of her pregnancy.), it should be "following the confirmation".
  • Done
  • Source only mentions viral infection [7], or that "she lost her voice". It was in fact laryngitis, but no specific mention on any sources I found.
  • In this part, (The show, Silver, was cut short after Velasquez suffered from a viral infection.), I would specify that Silver is a concert as the word "show" is too vague.
  • Done
  • I would remove the wikilink for the word "musicals" in this part: (a four-date concert residency that featured a repertoire of songs from musicals, called Regine at the Theater). It is a pretty clear concept that I think most people understand already, and the word "musical" was mentioned in a previous part of the article.
  • Done
  • The wikilink variety show should be moved up to the first time it is mentioned in the article.
  • Done
  • For this part, (and launched her cosmetics line called Reign.), the name should not be in italics.
  • Done
  • I have a question about this sentence: (Velasquez was set to perform a benefit concert in June 2020, but was rescheduled due to the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic.). Do we know what the benefit concert was for?
  • It was the virtual/online concert in April, mentioned in the next sentence.
  • I have a question about this part: (She later dropped out of the show for health reasons and was replaced by Iza Calzado.) Do we know what these "health reasons" were?
  • Citation mentions severe migraines [8], but think 'health reasons' would seem appropriate in this context. I find using "due to severe migraines" a bit odd.
  • Barbra Streisand is linked twice. On the second instance she is mentioned, remove the descriptive phrase (singer, songwriter and actress) as it is not necessary.
  • Done
  • For this part, (AllMusic described her timbre as "thin, unimpressive and unappealing at times" and observed her singing as "aiming for a higher [note], [which] she did all too often."), include the reviewer's name since you mention the writer's names elsewhere.
  • Done.
  • For the image in the "Legacy and influence" section, can you specify the year it was taken in the image caption?
  • Done
  • For this part, (vocal belting has been subject to scrutiny mainly because young), I would use just "because" instead of "mainly because".
  • Done
  • Done
  • Done
  • In the same section, I am uncertain about how the citations cut the sentence apart somewhat awkwardly as it affects readability. I think the sources cutting up "2007, 2009, and 2019" are the biggest example of this.
  • 'I've fixed that bit as it was towards the end of the sentence. It's in a similar fashion as citations on awards sections like this one.
  • For this part, (In March 2016, she revealed that she had suffered a miscarriage prior to her marriage to Alcasid and cited the personal tragedy as her reason for converting.), I am not sure about the "personal tragedy" phrasing. A miscarriage is sad, but I think the wording is a little sensational. I would just say "cited it as her reason for converting" instead. Aoba47 (talk) 03:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Fixed
@Aoba47:, think I have addressed comments above. Let me know if I missed any. Appreciate you going through it. Pseud 14 (talk) 05:39, 13 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for addressing everything. I support this for promotion. I hope you have a great rest of your week. Aoba47 (talk) 15:24, 13 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Much appreciate your inputs and support! @Aoba47:. Pseud 14 (talk) 15:35, 13 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I am glad that I can help. Good luck with the FAC process this time around. Aoba47 (talk) 18:40, 13 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Wehwalt

[edit]
  • "The first of which became her best-selling record to date and produced "In Love With You", her most successful single of the 1990s." This is not a sentence.
Tweaked this to have a more cohesive flow.
  • "She qualified and became the show's senior division daily winner defending her spot for eight consecutive weeks.[3]" If she was a daily winner, was she defending on a daily or weekly basis?
That did come across as confusing, I removed 'daily'.
  • "Velasquez was introduced as "Chona"" Maybe someting like "Valasquez initially took the stage name "Chona" ..." or similar.
Reads better. Done
  • "Two more singles were released throughout 1991 and 1992" I might say "during" for "throughout".
Done
  • "In November 2005, Velasquez had an eight-day concert residency, named Reflections, at the Aliw Theater concluding in December.[1]" I would consolidate the months, perhaps "In November and December 2005, ..."
Done
  • "She also performed a concert that year, Twenty, which won Best Female Major Concert Act and was named Entertainer of the Year at the 20th Aliw Awards.[85][86]" Where did this concert take place?
Added
  • "You are not consistent on whether you put the names of songs in quotation marks.
Thanks for spotting. Missed this section. Fixed
  • "Timeless US Tour visiting the cities of Chicago, New Jersey, Pasadena and San Diego.[137][138]" New Jersey is not a city.
Thanks for catching, also mentions 'New Jersey' in the 1st source, updated to the city of Englewood consistent with the 2nd source.
Englewood is a city, legally, but it's not well-known (I grew up in the same county as Englewood) and would suggest a link to Englewood, New Jersey.--Wehwalt (talk) 08:04, 14 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Wehwalt:, Nice! I've only been to a few cities in that state. Bit surprised too, one would think a touring act would go for Atlantic City, Jersey City or Newark. And it would make sense to link it—done. Pseud 14 (talk) 12:29, 14 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Well, it's close to New York City. But I didn't know there was a music venue there. I remember a movie theatre, possibly that has evolved into one.--Wehwalt (talk) 13:28, 14 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
That's true, logistically it's convenient. Pseud 14 (talk) 14:48, 14 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Velasquez was set to perform a benefit concert in June 2020, but it was rescheduled due to the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic.[159] Following the delay," Is the delay over? From June 2020?
Clarified in the succeeding sentence. She instead did a virtual benefit concert in April in lieu of what was to happen in June
More soon.--Wehwalt (talk) 21:34, 13 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Wehwalt: above should be addressed, thanks for the initial read. Pseud 14 (talk) 23:49, 13 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Her music is influenced by artists such as Sheena Easton, Angela Bofill, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey in her early years.[1][202]" Some confusion about who the second "her" refers to.
Fixed
  • "On several occasions, Velasquez has Barbra Streisand as her main influence and musical inspiration, explaining, "I look up to her not just because of her enormous talent, but because of her fearlessness and dedication to excellence, her willingness to take risks and to be different."[203]" Seems to be a word missing after "has". Perhaps "mentioned"?
Ah right, fixed now. I've used "cited" if that works.
  • " Early in her career, she has expressed appreciation for singers such as Kuh Ledesma, Joey Albert, Gary Valenciano, Martin Nievera and Pops Fernandez, and cites them as role models.[1]" I would cut "has".
Done
  • "of the constant scrutiny". Is this from the source?
I've tweaked the statement to 'Velasquez explained, ...', and removed the above, to be consistent with the source used, but also still cohesive with the flow from the previous sentence. Would be the first and only time I believe she's ever addressed this on an interview.
  • "Despite her vocal prowess, Velasquez's use of vocal belting has been subject to scrutiny because young singers such as those on talent shows have been overly imitating her singing technique" Isn't "overly" opinion?
Removed
  • "In August 2009, Velasquez released her line of women's fragrance for clothing brand Bench, called Reigne and Songbird.[250] In February 2020, she collaborated with beauty brand BYS and launched her own line of makeup called Reign.[158]" These were mentioned before. I have no objection to the repetition, but it should be phrased in a way that acknowledges these have been mentioned before.
Removed the repeated statement from the Career section, and kept it under Endorsements.
That's about it.--Wehwalt (talk) 13:28, 14 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Wehwalt: points listed have been addressed, let me know if I missed anything. Pseud 14 (talk) 14:48, 14 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Wehwalt, did you want to add anything? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 02:14, 14 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I must have missed the ping. Support.--Wehwalt (talk) 07:11, 14 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Media review from SNUGGUMS

[edit]
  • Opted not to crop as my aim was to have the image show her suspended mid-air displaying the elaborate gown (if that's acceptable)
  • Removed (zooming in would make the image low quality). Commons appear to have no related images bet the 1999-2003 era.
  • Removed both images
  • I see what happened. Fixed the URL

I'll let other reviewers handle the prose. Aside from a couple 404 errors, there are thankfully no licensing concerns. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 14:56, 10 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks SNUGGUMS, should all be addressed. Let me know if I missed anything. Pseud 14 (talk) 15:49, 10 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Mostly good, just one subpar image remains. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 15:52, 10 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
SNUGGUMS, addressed the above Pseud 14 (talk) 16:26, 10 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
In that case, the media review is complete. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 17:16, 10 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Coord note

[edit]

I see the image review - is there someone who can do a source review? And I've placed this on the urgents list for a third comprehensive review... --Ealdgyth (talk) 14:07, 14 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for putting a source review request, I may have to rely on that, I know BLPs can be a tad lengthy for someone to take on. Working on getting a third review/feedback. Cheers! Pseud 14 (talk) 14:17, 15 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments Support from Damien Linnane

[edit]

I haven't had the time to read through other commenters posts, so apologies if any of my observations have already been responded to.

  • "who submerged her neck-deep in sea water" - this choice of wording creates a very violent and extremely confronting image in my head; you don't clarify until the 'Voice and timbre' section that he didn't forcibly submerge her. I spent most of the article wondering exactly how badly she'd been abused by her father; you need to reword it to clarify she wasn't to the reader sooner.
  • Thanks for pointing it out. I never realized it gave such an impression up until now. Your concern is valid and I made the change. 'Immersed' sounds much more appropriate as mentioned in the source. This training is stuff of legend, everyone aspiring singer in the country is doing it :) Pseud 14 (talk) 20:28, 16 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "defending her spot for eight consecutive weeks" - any information on what happened next? Did she lose to another contestant for example or was that the maximum term she could defend it for?
  • That's right, 8 weeks and you qualify for the finals, then they start looking for a new qualifier. I did include that in an older edit, but from a prior review, since it's not mentioned in the source I stuck with that statement.
  • I don't think 'Love Me Again' should be wiki-linked in the lead or the body, since it just redirects to her discography.
  • Un-linked
  • The term OPM is not clarified to the reader, and I think the wikilink should be directed to the 'Popular music' section of the Music of the Philippines article. You've also wikilinked it too many times.
  • Clarified in the main infobox (genre) and linked to Popular music section. Un-linked the rest.
  • "and included cover versions of classic OPM recordings by National Artist for Music recipients Ryan Cayabyab, Lucio San Pedro and Levi Celerio" - up to you, but this sentence is starting to feel a bit too complicated to me. Personally I'd try and shorten it some how. Is it important to mention that they were 'OPM recordings'? Maybe just cut that out.
  • Done
  • Why is it important to clarify 'Search for a Star' was (formerly Star for a Night)? That doesn't seem necessary to me.
  • I've removed it
  • 'concert residency' is wikilinked more than once.
  • Un-linked the rest
  • 'The concert, Silver, was cut short after Velasquez suffered from a viral infection' - any more details on this? How serious was it? 'Viral infection' is very vague. If there's no sources, maybe just clarify the date the concert was cancelled, so that the reader can extrapolate how serious it was by combining the information with the fact the concert restarted in January, as stated in the next section.
  • It was in fact laryngitis, but every source I could find only mentions 'viral infection' so I had stuck to it as well, I clarified that she lost her voice from a viral infection and added the concert date for clarity.
  • 'correspondent and film critic Noel Vera' - does he need both titles? The sentence seems long winded. I'd shorten it to film critic since that's the role he seems to be being cited in.
  • Done
  • In the 'Acting career' section you mostly used the term 'film' though you do use 'movie' once. I'd be consistent and change that to 'film'.
  • Thanks for catching. Done
  • 'One of Velasquez's earliest musical memories was listening to her father, Gerardo Velasquez, sing lullabies to put her to sleep' - this is already mentioned in the 'Early Life' section.
  • Removed
  • 'Personal Life' seems surprisingly short. Did she not have any relationships prior to 2007?
  • She only had one (Ariel Rivera), but it was short-lived, didn't last for a year and that was around 1994. Sourcing was a bit of a challenge too, as it's mostly articles posted in forums, nothing I could find archived.

Great work overall. Damien Linnane (talk) 16:13, 16 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Appreciate your time in reviewing Damien, I have addressed the above points, let me know if there are things that need to be actioned after you have a look. Cheers! Pseud 14 (talk) 20:28, 16 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Looking good. Happy to support. Damien Linnane (talk) 07:34, 17 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Much appreciate your input and support. Pseud 14 (talk) 14:45, 17 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Nikkimaria

[edit]

Oppose

  • I'm noticing a significant number of stylistic issues, including misuse of hyphens, missing commas, repeated wikilinks, etc
  • The article would benefit from a thorough copy-editing to catch grammatical errors (eg "Velasquez won the season and signed record deal") and improve flow
  • I notice some instances of material that should really be presented as direct quotes - for example "public persona, charisma and sense of humor to the role" is nearly identical to the source. Similarly, "straightforward, earnest and lyrically simple" is directly from the source
  • What makes ShowbizNest a high-quality reliable source? Rappler? Nikkimaria (talk) 19:05, 20 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Nikkimaria: I've waded through each section to address actionable items for points 1-3 listed. If you deem that there are significant and glaring concerns that remain unaddressed, I may have to request for second copy-edit outside of the FAC process, as I figured the length of the article may deter editors from taking it on here. The fourth item, I have removed those sources and found more reliable ones. Cheers Pseud 14 (talk) 04:10, 22 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Nikki, it is a bit concerning that at this stage you're finding enough prose issues to suggest a copyedit -- can I ask you for an update now? Pseud 14, thanks for your realistic attitude about this, if more work is needed then yes it will be better that we close this now and do that work outside FAC, but let's hear from Nikki... Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:12, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Definitely still seeing some of the stylistic issues mentioned (eg in the lead there are ranges using hyphens that should use dashes), areas of awkward prose (eg "Among the Japanese songwriters she enlisted during the production include") and grammatical errors (eg "wrote and produced majority"). Nikkimaria (talk) 12:32, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Ian Rose, think we can archive this for now. I'll need more time outside of FAC to commence c/e. Cheers, Pseud 14 (talk) 16:23, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Cartoon network freak

[edit]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.