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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 01:17, 30 September 2008 [1].

Lancaster Barnstormers

[edit]
Nominator(s): JaMikePA (talk)


I'm nominating this article for featured article because I believe that the page is well-written and includes all relevant info regarding the team. JaMikePA (talk) 19:42, 26 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Please close and archive the peer review. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 20:12, 26 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

–Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 20:34, 26 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • They've never been required, but they can be useful for editors who don't otherwise know how to format citations (even though some of us hate them because they chunk up articles and affect load time). SandyGeorgia (Talk) 21:35, 26 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - Much more editing is needed before this can be considered among our best work. Here are some problems with the article.

  • Listen to Julian when he says the references need work. They need access dates, authors, publishers, and publication dates where given. I also share his concerns about there being too many primary sources. Thirteen primary sources out of 35 total is not the worst I've seen, but it would be good to lower this number somewhat.
  • All of the headings in the History subsections violate WP:MOS. Only proper nouns should be capitalized in headings after the first word.
  • Notable Barnstormers: What makes these people notable and not others? This is a big POV problem to me.
  • Why in the world do we need a Quick facts section at the end? Many of these facts are in the infobox, while media-related items could use their own section.
  • What kind of promotions does this team run? This is how minor-league baseball teams draw fans. Even a paragraph or two on any notable promotions the team has run would add some life to the article.
  • Instead of having this many subsections in Tradition and Philanthropy, consider merging these items into 2-3 paragraphs each. Looks stubby in its current form.
  • A brief look at the prose: to remove a redundancy in the third paragraph, try "Baseball fans in Lancaster waited 44 years for the sport to return after the Lancaster Red Roses folded following the 1961 season."
  • Remove the bolding for the Barnstormers in the third paragraph.
  • A couple of facts about the nickname in the lead aren't expanded on or even repeated in the body.
  • Loads of unneeded bolding in the history section.

Overall, a lot of work will be needed here. For a good idea of what to aim for, read Nashville Sounds, a recently promoted featured article. Giants2008 (17-14) 00:56, 27 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you everyone for your comments. I will work on the article, though it will take some time.JaMikePA (talk) 03:20, 27 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Oppose Mostly as above, headings and references not formatted correctly, one sentence paragraphs, and some dubious prose. For example in the lead
  • the team's name is repeated in every one of the first six sentences
  • Can you win a record?
  • The Barnstormers represent all of Lancaster County - why "of"?
  • The Barnstormers designate many of their home games to honor each of the county's smaller communities. "each" is confusing and unneeded
  • as the team colors of red, navy blue, and khaki were the same colors used by Lancaster's former team, the Red Roses. - unnecessary repeat of "color"

I suspect that this may need more work than can be done during FAC jimfbleak (talk) 06:26, 27 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • We should be moving beyond the robotic linking of the names of commonly known countries (especially anglophone ones). I've zapped them, along with the autoformatting. See MOSNUM. Tony (talk) 15:58, 27 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I made several changes to the page with all of your comments in mind. Please review them and tell me what you think.JaMikePA (talk) 17:13, 27 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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