Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Henry Petre/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Sarastro1 via FACBot (talk) 21:46, 15 February 2018 [1].

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Henry Petre

Nominator(s): Ian Rose (talk) 07:38, 6 January 2018 (UTC)

Henry Petre (pronounced "peter") was one of the pioneers of Australian military aviation. Along with Eric Harrison, who you may well see at FAC in the not-too-distant future, Petre founded the original Central Flying School at Point Cook, Victoria, in 1913–14. Unlike Harrison, Petre a) saw extensive service in World War I and was highly decorated for his actions, and b) didn't join the RAAF, resigning from the military after the war and returning to his first profession, the law. He never lost his enthusiasm for flying, though, which he continued to do privately at least up until the 1950s. I took this through MilHist A-Class Review five years ago and have recently polished it and added a few more snippets of info that have become available -- not a long article but I think it's comprehensive, so have at it...! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 07:38, 6 January 2018 (UTC)

Image review

• All of the images need info about when and where they were first published, per the tags in use. Nikkimaria (talk) 16:58, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
  • Tks Nikki -- I think all available info is there already; the current tags are what passed muster a few years ago, probably we're safer applying PD-AustraliaGov instead? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 20:26, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
    • Sure, that should work. Nikkimaria (talk) 01:51, 7 January 2018 (UTC)
      • Okay, that's done. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 05:39, 7 January 2018 (UTC)

Comments from Ceranthor

• "the Australian Flying Corps, predecessor of the Royal Australian Air Force." - might want a "the" before predecessor
  • I thought there might be too many "the"s in there but don't mind adding it.
• " gaining employment as a designer" - assume you mean airplane designer, but it's a little unclear
  • Fair enough, will do.
• "and was commissioned a lieutenant in the Australian Military Forces." - might just be me, but seems like there's an "as" missing before a lieutenant
  • The expression as we have is quite common in military articles but I don't minding altering..
• "he commanded No. 75 Squadron" - given that other proper military nouns received "the" before them, it only seems logical to carry that over here and put a "the" before No. 75
  • I'm afraid numbered RAF (and RAAF) units rarely if ever take the definite article so this really should stay as is.
• "continued to fly recreationally before his death in 1962" - might just be me, but I think "until" flows better than before
  • Will do.
• "Petre gave up his legal practice, borrowed £250 and proceeded to build his own aeroplane," - given that elsewhere you've used the serial comma, I'd use it after "borrowed £250"
  • Will do.
• "to become, as George Odgers described it," - a brief explanation of why Odgers's opinion matters/who he is might be useful
  • Odgers is another official RAAF historian; I introduced Gillison because he had no article and left Odgers alone because he did, but no prob making it consistent.
• think Indian Government needs an NBSP
  • Okay.
• "airdrop grain supplies (and a millstone for grinding), medical supplies and equipment" - same note as above about the serial comma consistency
  • Will do.

These are just some nitpicks. Once these are addressed, I'll be happy to support on the prose. ceranthor 20:57, 7 January 2018 (UTC)

Thanks for taking the time to review, Ceranthor -- I'll make these changes later today. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 00:50, 8 January 2018 (UTC)

Thanks for the timely fixes. Support ceranthor 04:08, 8 January 2018 (UTC)

Sources review

All sources are in good oreder and of appropriate quality/reliability. Brianboulton (talk) 22:30, 8 January 2018 (UTC)

Tks Brian! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:00, 8 January 2018 (UTC)

CommentsSupport by PM

Pretty minor points all of these.

• in Early career, his full name isn't given and cited
  • Good point, tks.
• when first used, RAAF should probably be in full so people don't have to join the dots from the lead
  • Fair enough.
• when he is first mentioned, perhaps mention that his brother Edward was also interested in flying, as it seems a little abrupt when he is killed in a flying accident
  • Hmm, I felt it was pretty clear given he assisted Henry designing an aeroplane.
• "established the CFS", I know dropped the definite article for squadrons and wings is standard practice in the RAAF, but I think one is needed here
  • Boy, you army types have never given up the dream of controlling the air arm, have you...? Just kidding, will do... :-)
• suggest "Sufficient aircrew and supporting personnel were available for only half a flight, so the unit..."
  • Okay.
• what did he get the MC and DSO for?
  • I'm afraid none of the short bios on the man, nor the Gazette, the AWM, or his personnel file at NAA provide the specifics.
• Richard Williams could probably just be Williams on second mention, as there doesn't appear to be any other William's mentioned
  • Okay.
• suggest at the RAAF Museum
  • Oh all right... ;-)
• Henry Petre could probably just be Petre
  • Okay.
• date ranges in the infobox in full per the new guideline eg 1919–1920
  • If I recall the new guideline correctly, the abbreviated form is acceptable in infoboxes owing to the space limitations.

That's me done. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 07:35, 10 January 2018 (UTC)

Tks for reviewing, PM! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk)

No prob. Great article BTW! Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:55, 11 January 2018 (UTC)

• Support. Good article – nicely researched and well written. Three tiny points for you to consider, but I leave it up to you what steps (if any) you decide to take with them:

Early career

• Should née be italicised?

• Wouldn't hurt.

• "and later its chief": is "chief" a bit too informal?

• The source said he "took charge", without proving a formal title, so I said "chief" but it could be "head" or something else -- any thoughts?

• "Head" would work for me too. - SchroCat (talk) 12:44, 16 January 2018 (UTC)

• Done -- tks again. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 12:54, 16 January 2018 (UTC)

• Link to World War I?

• Generally I don't link the world wars when they form the backdrop to a significant part of an article, since we have more granular/meaningful links to campaigns, battles, etc.

• Fair enough! - SchroCat (talk) 12:44, 16 January 2018 (UTC)

That's it from me – all good otherwise. Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 11:22, 16 January 2018 (UTC)

Thanks for taking a look Gavin! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 12:41, 16 January 2018 (UTC)

• Closing note: This candidate has been promoted, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Sarastro (talk) 21:46, 15 February 2018 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.