User talk:Vic.nor/sandbox

Hi, was just on your page to see what you have on domestic (that I can add to) and noted some things in passing:

Grammar - you start two consecutive sentences with "this type of sexual violence" in "conflict" chapter of the "definition" section.
Conflict section in general - there are several articles on war rape (and I believe other forms of sexual violence too)that could be linked to here, just so readers are aware they exist. We can add them to "see also" section OR make a reference "main article X". You can see my "children" section for an example of the latter.
Speaking of rape, I think it would be a good idea to add a sentence like "Sexual violence encompasses far more than rape" in the definition section.

Seda1900 (talk) 23:54, 30 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Can you please see my sandbox for what I included about terminology of "survivors" as opposed to saying "victims". I think this should be mentioned either in definition section or maybe we can do something even more and rename the "victims of sexual violence" section? Thoughts?Seda1900 (talk) 01:22, 1 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Great job, Victoria! I particularly like the chapter on men. Very impressive! One comment on the definitional issues. You mentioned three different definitions, whereof the WHO seems to be the most common one. It is, however, not entirely clear why you mentioned the other two. Are they used in specific contexts? Or did one definition rely on the other? Is the ICC definition the only legal definition?Ginme (talk) 14:22, 1 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your comments. To answer Seda first, I will have a closer look at what articles could be linked in the "Conflict" section. This is a good idea. I will also see how to include a sentence saying that sexual violence is more extensive than rape in the "definition" section. Regarding "survivors", I am not sure about changing the headline from "Victims" to "Survivors"; I have not really come across this during my reserach and if it is "just" one feminist suggestion, it may be too narrow. What do you think?

So to answer Gina, I included the other two since we had talked about that the current definition relied only on the WHO's definition, and these are two others that have been referred to. But maybe it should be mentioned somehow why/where?! I just do not want it to become analytical. So, suggestions on how this can be done?

Thanks!

Vic.nor (talk) 09:05, 2 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Very well done Victoria! I particularly appreciate that you distinguished conflict-related sexual violence and domestic sexual violence, since I only cover the international framework in my section. The domestic framework might also be the only section missing in our article. I also like the fact that you give different definitions, but like it is mentioned above in the comments, I would justify why. However, I also agree that it might become too analytical, which is also the main issue with my section. I have other legal documents that provide other definitions (mostly the UN). I think (but not sure) that the Office of the Special Representative of the SG on Sexual Violence in Conflict gives a definition of sexual violence, which would of great interest for the section. CarolineRoy22 (talk) 10:28, 2 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for you response, I see what you mean about the definition. Perhaps I will try to fit it somewhere in the feminism section. Seda1900 (talk) 17:14, 4 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hello,

This is to let you know that I put online the "victims" section. Feel free to "plug in" your parts, including into the introduction. Where were you thinking of putting my "domestic sexual violence" section? My content is not strictly definitions, so I am thinking as a separate section is best.

Also posting you same message in the sandbox. Seda1900 (talk) 18:07, 4 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Seda,

Thank you for starting publishing. I will integrate my part.

For the "domestic sexual violence", my idea was to put this under the section on victims, sub-heading "Women". I have already written a part on conflict-related sexual violence against women, so was thinking to have a little part on domestic as well. What do you think? Do you think what you have written there will fit there? I will of course have a second look at your text, and let you know what I think. Ok? Vic.nor (talk) 18:32, 4 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hey. Ok, though I do mention that it happen to men too by their intimate partners, but I think overall it fits as a second little subsection after "conflict". Seda1900 (talk) 23:49, 5 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Victoria, you've done a great job! Only two minor remarks: - In the first sentence: "There is no generally accepted definition of sexual violence; however, a commonly used definition is the definition provided by the World Health Organization (WHO) in its World Report on Violence and Health 2002." The word 'definition' repeats too much in this sentence. Maybe reformulate or replace it by 'one': is the one provided by the WHO. - In the second paragraph of definition: "sexual violence of comparable gravity." shouldn't have a full stop.Nelipeuch (talk) 19:13, 11 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, Neli, for pointing that out. I have taken it into account and changed it. Vic.nor (talk) 22:23, 12 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]