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User talk:Seaplant/sandbox

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Peer review and suggestions

[edit]

Good job overall! As mentioned in our lecture discussion, you have provided a lot of informative data, including two self-created graphs! Meanwhile, you also have many reliable sources. However, I have some suggestions. First, I wonder if the term "sovereignty" would sound a little bit unneutral? I wonder if there's any synonyms. What about "influence?" This term is not only less unneutral, as it can carry both positive and negative connotations, but also sounds less forceful. Also, I wonder if the term "governance" would also be a little bit unneutral, as it does carry a controlling connotation. I wonder if it would be more neutral to change the title as "Public Polices' influences on the indigenous peoples in California?" Having said that, your overall writing portrays your effort to write in a more neutral tone. Again, nice work! I look forward to seeing your next draft!Qiliang12 (talk) 20:43, 16 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

That's interesting about the tone of 'governance' and 'sovereignty'. That title on my sandbox was more for my own reference, I'll probably put that info into some other section(s). But I agree that 'governance' has a negative connotation outside of social sciences academics, so I should watch how I use it. I think 'sovereignty' might actually be pretty neutral though, it's widely used in the literature and established by treaties. —Seaplant (talk) 06:07, 17 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]