User talk:Sakinaka3/sandbox
Thought's from a close stranger
[edit]I like how you accurately give a picture of how the fungus looks like when it grows, especially the colour regime and its influences (read melanin explanation). It seems worthwhile to look for more information about the antioxidant properties of melanin and if you can relate it back the the fungus; see if we can “abuse” it to our benefit
Maybe it is my epidemiology side showing, but maybe shed some light on the case rates, do infections happen more in age (immunosenescence), or expand more on the transplantation side. Are there case fatality rates, are these infections localized to certain areas, certain people, occupations, etc? You can maybe even throw in a case example of the hyphae invading into blood vessels and tissues; it can grab the reader’s attention. Lastly, is there information about the history of its classification? See user:pkgill/sandbox story on how T.inflatum got its name; it’s a really cool story!
Abokorab (talk) 15:08, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
HMB436 Peer Comments
[edit]Hi there,
I really like your article so far, you have a lot of good and interesting information about your species. I agree with the User above in the fact that I thought it was really cool how you described the species as it grows and were very descriptive about its appearance. One thing you could do to add to your article is include a Taxobox, the instructions for this are on the course Wikipedia page. Additionally, I think it would be helpful if you maybe added some links to other Wikipedia articles within your article to some concepts you mention. For example, when talking about the pathogenicity of the fungus, you mention that it can cause infections such as endocarditis, keratitis, etc. and providing the in-text links will make it easier for readers to learn more about these topics. Additionally, I thought the section about the potential uses for this species was really cool! Do you have any more information on this like what specific components of the wine increased with treatment of the fungus? If you do, I think you should include this information. Great job so far!
Cdrazyk (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 16:14, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
HMB436 Peer Comments #2
[edit]Hi Sakinaka3!
Great level of detail in your article! I really liked how you included some background information and explanations when describing some of the fungus' characteristics, rather than just stating its characteristics. Like the two previous reviewers, I thought your level of detail when describing your species' growth. I do think that dividing your "Appearance and morphology" section into different subsections (such as "Appearance in culture" and "Appearance under the microscope") could make that section clearer and help separate the microscopic observations from the naked-eye observations. You may also want to have a "Growth" section, where you could include facts like the temperature at which the fungus grows (you mentioned 35°C-40°C for the species/type of fungus), what happens when it grows on agar (conidia only at the surface of the agar), what kinds of environments it likes, etc. I also agree with user Cdrazyk that you should add links to other Wikipedia pages to help the reader understand the terms you're using. You mention that Phialemonium species can grow at 40°C. which gives them the potential to infect the CNS. Since the source you cite seems to report that the case of endocarditis was in fact caused by you fungus P. obovatum, I think your statement is a little ambiguous. You should definitely mention that Phialemonium do infect the CNS (instead of them having "the potential to infect the central nervous system") and you could add a few more details on the case study in that Gavin et al. paper. Once again, I agree with user Cdrazyk that you should definitely include more information on the components of wine that increased with the use of this fungus! Having some background on why they added fungus to oak chips used to make wine would also be pretty interesting if you have that information. Overall, I think you're well on your way to having a great article. Keep up the good work!