User talk:Richard Hargesheimer
Going to accept article now that I've done major cleanup, but here are my initial concerns for your awareness
[edit]Comment: You must tone down the verbiage here. WP articles cannot be "thrilling", "inspiring", etc, not take a political/social stance. We need the bare facts, let the reader draw their own conclusions.A few examples of totally misplaced phrasing/emotion:*"guardian", "victim", "countless", "inspires", etc.'*The closing phrase "Star is a cautionary tale of how quickly a bad decision can be made by those, like law enforcement, we trust most to serve and protect. She is also a shinning example of the value, courage, and love of pit bull breeds is totally inappropriate unless you're quoting a news source that offers its (not yours) opinion. And in any case, encyclopedia articles do not have "closing thoughts". Key summaries belong at the beginning.I'm going to do a quick cleanup here, but please follow up with further fine-tuning, then Resubmit. I believe this article may be publishable given how much coverage this incident got, but cannot guarantee it. MatthewVanitas (talk) 23:57, 10 October 2014 (UTC)
- Note, I initially declined your article, but figured I could clean it in about 15m and did so. Please note how I neutralized the language, trimmed out personal opinion, and more tidily formatted the footnote citations. MatthewVanitas (talk) 00:19, 11 October 2014 (UTC)
Your submission at Articles for creation: Star the Dog has been accepted
[edit]![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/21/AFC-Logo.svg/50px-AFC-Logo.svg.png)
The article has been assessed as Start-Class, which is recorded on the article's talk page. You may like to take a look at the grading scheme to see how you can improve the article.
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MatthewVanitas (talk) 00:12, 11 October 2014 (UTC)
Welcome to Wikipedia and good work
[edit]Hi, I'm Oiyarbepsy and I can see fairies.
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Thanks, Oiyarbepsy (talk) 04:10, 11 October 2014 (UTC)
Your draft article, Draft:The Story of Star, The Dog
[edit]![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/1d/Information_icon4.svg/48px-Information_icon4.svg.png)
Hello, Richard Hargesheimer. It has been over six months since you last edited your WP:AFC draft article submission, entitled "The Story of Star".
The page will shortly be deleted. If you plan on editing the page to address the issues raised when it was declined and resubmit it, simply {{db-afc}}
or {{db-g13}}
code. Please note that Articles for Creation is not for indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace.
If your submission has already been deleted by the time you get there, and you want to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion by one of two methods (don't do both): 1) follow the instructions at WP:REFUND/G13, or 2) copy this code: {{subst:Refund/G13|Draft:The Story of Star, The Dog}}
, paste it in the edit box at this link, and click "Save page". An administrator will in most cases undelete the submission.
Thanks for your submission to Wikipedia, and happy editing. JMHamo (talk) 10:33, 12 April 2015 (UTC)