User talk:Rhetoricanista/sandbox
Feedback
[edit]Hi Rhetoricanista, here are some thoughts about your sandbox:
- I think the actual needs to be retitled and have a change of what we call "scope". Typically, we don't have articles about people who are notable for one event. In this case, it would be the involuntary sterilization of these girls. What would you think about retitling the article Relf v. Weinberger? See, for example, Buck v. Bell, the article about the compulsory sterilization of Carrie Buck. I can help you retitle if you'd like.
...having been injured in a care accident
probably a "car accident" :)- You should add links to other Wikipedia articles! I like to have at least one link per paragraph, and sometimes many more than that. To add a link to another Wikipedia article, go into edit mode, highlight a word or term with your cursor, and click the chain icon on the top toolbar.
- I think there's a mismatch between the source you're citing and the text you've written. For the sentence
...they were given Depo-Provera, a birth control shot that was later prohibited by the FDA because it was found to cause cancer when tested on animals
, the URL isn't working when I click it. Do you mean to cite this? If so, the source says "...doctor who gave them injections of Depo-Provera before it was approved by the FDA. When the administration of Depo-Provera was banned pending FDA approval..." Depo-Provera is not banned in the United States and is in use today in more than 100 countries. If you are going to claim that Depo-Provera causes cancer, you need to cite what we call a reliable medical source, which is a literature review. - I think you might have excessive detail in the section "Relf sterilization". Encyclopedia articles are not meant to necessarily be a play-by-play, but to provide an overview of a topic.
- I noticed several paragraphs are entirely in quotations marks. Are these direct quotes of the cited sources? If so, you have too many. Direct quotations are only allowed for small amounts of text. You should the text in your own words wherever possible.
Let me know if you have questions about any of this feedback! Thanks, Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:24, 15 May 2020 (UTC)