User talk:Patel.nikita17/sandbox

hi this is my sandbox test area.

Peer Review of Project 2 Draft

Hi Nikita, choosing to expand on a stub/start-class article with scientific information that you are already well-acquainted with is a great way of fulfilling this project's requirements. Your draft clearly explains the issue in much further depth than the currently existing version, going into detail about things like the mechanisms for its manifestation, the symptoms that patients experience, and various diagnostic tests that doctors and patients can undertake to identify its existence. My only suggestion that would greatly improve your article would be to incorporate the use of links into your draft. The start-class article that currently exists may not have a lot of information, but links to other articles on Wikipedia about certain things like amyloidosis/proteins/etc. Most notably, the stub also makes mention of certain types of cardiac amyloidosis, but with no explanation attached to their list. Links are part of what makes Wikipedia so great, so porting the links that the original article already uses and incorporating them into your draft will only improve your work's quality by a large amount. Additionally, as this is still a draft, I'm sure you will still continue to add more writing to your article, which is important because of this project's larger word count requirement. Hope this helps! Maryamattar (talk) 07:01, 16 June 2018 (UTC)

Hi Nikita, You've made impressive progress from the original article! The way you've sectioned the information you've added makes the article very readable, which is great. I do agree that adding links to other wiki pages within your article will be a great improvement as it will provide readers with quick access to more specific/detailed information about the things you mention, which is exactly what people come to Wikipedia for. Some words I think you could consider linking to wiki pages include "amyloid", "immunoglobulin" (or consider using the word "antibody"), "transthyretin", "macroglossia", any of the diagnostic tests, and any other words that would be considered science-specific jargon and may be unfamiliar to the casual (or even the more-informed!) reader. I also found that there is a very helpful comment under your "Potential Article Editing" section which gives some great advice on improving the organization by clarifying that cardiac amyloidosis is a collection of diseases as opposed to one singular disease. Apart from what I've already mentioned and just a few grammatical fixes that can be made (mostly just some comma placement!) your article looks great and is definitely a huge improvement on the existing stub! :) Juliedobkin (talk) 15:59, 19 June 2018 (UTC)