User talk:Npfarr/sandbox

So I looked at the Weaponization of Finance page. https://wiki.riteme.site/wiki/Weaponization_of_finance. You might redo the entire article. It's poorly done. You'll need a outline. Look at other examples of similar articles. They usually start with a clear definition of the term, followed by an historical account of the concept. So in this case you could reference how the term was relevant in the 2000s, 2010s, etc. For example, how many sanctions were imposed in the 1990s, 2000s, 2010s? The article and your contribution should include some data and statistics. Has the weaponization of finance increased or decreased over time. How do we know? After the history section you could have a section on specific cases of WofF - you could include a paragraph about our effort against Cuba or Russia or African countries. Finally, the article needs proofreading. There are too many typos.Mcassell04 (talk) 13:41, 14 October 2017 (UTC)

I believe this article is set up well. It could use more information in the moral consequences of economic sanctions that part seems kind of short and sweet as a reader I would like more detail if possible. I really like the way you put together the terrorism effect on weaponization of finance article it has great detail pretty well written out. I like how you included what organizations their are out there to prevent terrorism these are groups that I didn't knew existed and we could use more of I believe. So I believe that was really interesting

Great Topic

Our group is also expanding the weaponization of finance article so I thought it would be fitting for me to comment on your page! Minor fixes, I would proofread the article again. I found some grammatical errors throughout the page where words just didn't flow right together. In the Economic Sanctions portion of the article, I felt like it was missing some citations. Even if you are very knowledgable about economic sanctions, I believe this section of the article would be better off with some more outside support to back up everything. I also believe you should expand on the effectiveness of the U.S. sanctions on South Africa because it will be a good example to those reading about the weaponization of finance. I have included a link to an article about the sanctions that I used last year for a paper. I think it will have some good information in it for you. Don't forget to link key words to other Wikipedia pages as well; it will draw more people to the page!

http://fpif.org/peoples-sanctions/

J.R.Morgan (talk) 23:53, 12 October 2017 (UTC)J.R. Morgan

Notes

Hi Npfarr, Mgates17, Reggiedublin5! Your draft looks pretty good and I see that you're already moving this, which is good. My only notes would be to tweak your additions so that it flows with the rest of the article and to add more citations, as this needs more overall sourcing. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:26, 27 October 2017 (UTC)