User talk:Mpaganelli/sandbox

Peer Review

The organization and the information of your topic was great. The way you broke down your sections was straight forward and gave the reader the idea what they were going to be reading about under each section. The information you provided was easy to read and to understand. The examples you used provided further insight on the topic and how it has been applied before and continues to be used today. One suggestion would be to include sources that support your research. Also, under your Consequences section in your second paragraph instead of using the word more maybe changing it to major would be better for the flow of the sentence. Jenrosales12 (talk) 22:47, 23 October 2016 (UTC)

Marissa: The work you've done on the Pack Journalism article in your sandbox looks good. Overall the content is presented in an unbiased way, but I would suggest that you read it through more and look at the tone of what you have (e.g. avoiding addressing the reader as "you" and editorializing) and make sure that it complies with the Wikipedia Manual of Style and writing policies. Also, it looks as though you are getting all of your info from one sources. Were you able to locate any additional sources on the topic? Best, Prof.bgreg (talk) 20:07, 28 October 2016 (UTC)