User talk:Mmarcin5/sandbox
Comentarios segundo borrador
[edit]¡Buen trabajo, Marcin! Por supuesto, quedan unas cositas por arreglar aún, así que aquí van mis comentarios, en el orden en que surgieron en el texto.
Introducción
[edit]- Este primer párrafo debe revisarse para que fluya mejor. También faltan los enlaces.
- En lugar de Castillian, yo traduciría castellano como Spanish.
- El mapa necesita una leyenda.
- In Peruvian Amazon, there are close to 40 languages which are usually grouped into 17 families and diversify into close to 120 recognizable local varieties. = ...the Peruvian Amazon...? Otra palabra para diversify?
- Population of Each Mother Tongue = Population by native language? Also, Castellano = Spanish. Finally, the parentheses in the table are odd.
Languages
[edit]- The native languages of Peru = indigenous languages?
- were located in the northern coast = on the northern coast? along the northern coast?
- the XIX century = the nineteenth century or the 19th century
- in the Peru territory = in Peru's territory? In Peruvian territory?
- could've easily exceeded 300. <-- demasiado informal
- Some reporters like Acosta <-- ¿Reporters? ¿Y quién es Acosta? ¿Cita?
- since the time of conquest of the viceroy?
- led to the number of indigenous languages to drop to less than 150 = dropping... fewer...
- Still, today the number is large, but disproportionate. <-- ¿Qué significa esto?
- The natives of Peru belong to more than 15 language families <-- The indigenous languages of Peru?
- are also documented to more than about 15 ?
- Tabla: A veces hay problemas de formato
- Aymara has the third biggest number of speakers within Peru, with close to half a million speakers in the country. <-- Third largest? Also citation needed.
- in the parts of Puno,?
- the most diverse part of the country at a linguistic viewpoint = from a linguistic viewpoint? from a linguistic standpoint?
- 5 small families of languages <-- Los ombres de las lenguas van con mayúscula en inglés.
- The sign language of Peru (LSP) <-- Is it called that in English, or is it Peruvian Sign Language? Also, please add a link if possible.
- A foreign language of a territory is a language who's historical origin = a language whose?
- Spanish Equatorial, = Equatorial Spanish?
- No estoy seguro si la inclusión el castellano en la sección de lenguas extranjeras cabe dentro del Neutral Point of View de Wikipedia. Hablemos en persona de cómo tratar esta sección.
- China, and Canton, <-- Canton is in China
- Toda la sección de lenguas extranjeras require citas.
Bradhoot (talk) 16:33, 5 June 2019 (UTC)
Second Revision notes
[edit]Great work on your page! I especially like the tables you have breaking down the different families of languages and the territories they are spoken in. I think it is easy to read and useful.
I think there are only a few things that still need just a bit of adjustment, and a few tweaks. In general some of the paragraphs are very literally translated and need to be made more fluent and cohesive in English. For example:
"Language in Peru is very complicated and interesting. One of its official languages, Castilian, has been in the country since it began being taught in the time of José Pardo instead of native languages, especially the languages in the Andes [2]. In the beginning of the 21st century, it was estimated that in this multilingual country, about 50 very different and popular languages are spoken: there are 72 languages if dialects are considered."
The first sentence may be a bit misleading; are the languages spoken in Peru complicated and interesting? Or are the different families/dialects complicated to sort? I think the introductory paragraph makes sense when you understand the translation aspect, but someone who doesn't, may need it to be a little more fluid.
Catilian...I'm assuming that's Castellano. Can that just be translated to Spanish?
I think if you just read your article out loud, you will find the bits that need to be shifted around to flow better.
Other little things:
"(shown in the table below with a †)" : maybe, "represented in the table as†"
"In the north part of Peru are 5 small families of languages: cahuapana, jívara, zápara, peba-yagua, and bora-witoto. " : perhaps can be reworded to, "In nothern Peru there are 5 small families of languages: cahuapana, jívara, zápara, peba-yagua, and bora-witoto."
- this I'm not too sure about** "the pano languages are most common," : take "the" out and just say "pano languages"
Beyond this, I think your article is comprehensive. There just need to be some data cited, but otherwise, this article is very informative!