User talk:Mikevmar/sandbox
The sentence, “Neuropsychiatric disorders are thought to arise, in part, due to inflammation caused by pro-inflammatory substances that enter the bloodstream due to increased gut permeability associated with dysbiosis in the human gut microbiota.” Could be reworded as “Neuropsychiatric disorders are thought to arise in result of inflammation caused by pro-inflammatory substances that enter the bloodstream due to increased gut permeability associated with dysbiosis in the human gut microbiota.” This removes a “due” from the sentence, making it flow better.
Next, lipopolysaccharide should be pluralized because more than one is produced in the gut (I am guessing). This would then change the sentence to, “In particular, lipopolysaccharides that are produced in the gut and permeate through the gut into the bloodstream, increase the production of inflammatory cytokines that can alter brain function.” This sentence could also be further edited to remove the words “through the gut” because the sentence will still be clear that it is permeating through the gut since that is where lipopolysaccharides are produced.
The end of the next sentence should be changed to “… blood brain barrier; therefore (or thereby etc), affecting the central nervous system.”
The next sentence requires grammatical edits, “ … anxiety like behavior; however, this change has not…” This same sentence is confusing because it says that the gut microbiota is changed in animal models for depression, but not in human microbiota. However, humans are technically “animals”, so the author should specify what animal models have been studied that show this change in the gut microbiota.
The incorporation of specific headings would be beneficial to this wiki article. This is a good start for the page and the author does a good job at keeping the article bias-free. It is written objectively, and the material provided appears well-supported. If the author further elaborates on gut microbiota and depression/anxiety like it does for autism, then this article will greatly improve.
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