User talk:Mary Mijares/sandbox

Peer Review Teannw1: Teanna Comment: Maybe Phandeeyar can be replaced with "Background" The projects/ impact section is a good idea. I think it will allow people to understand the organiztion more. specfically how they were able to use, "innovations emerged focusing on topics such as increased health education initiatives and the creation of a "hate speech monitoring platform", with technology. Teannw1 (talk) 20:26, 17 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Looks to have a good outline so far. Article has a positive view of organization; are there any different views or critiques? Aharriot96 (talk) 20:27, 17 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Evaluation

Outline is great! I made some small grammatical changes, once you start adding more content remember to site your sources. Also, I added some stuff to your sandbox and highlighted them in bold, these are things I had questions about. Article looks great though ! Classikhgirl (talk) 02:59, 24 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank's for the feedback! I'll definitely try to clean up the grammar a bit and to pay attention to the sources as well. Thanks for bringing it up to my attention! Mary Mijares (talk) 06:19, 31 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review by KatSn of the Phandeeyar article:

Hi Mary! Great article so far—it has a very clear, defined structure, and offers a wide coverage of Phandeeyar. I thought your lead was very concise, and helps set up the rest of the article.

Grammar-wise, the second to last sentence in the Background section sounds like a run-on sentence, maybe break it up with punctuation or make a new sentence? Also, “focusing on” was used twice so you can probably use some other phrase to keep things fresh. I also see that you intend to flesh out the Accomplishments section through your outline notes—I really like how you went in-depth inside your outline, and can’t wait to see what you end up writing! Additionally, do you have a source for the Funding subsection under the Accomplishments section? A citation was missing from it.

Overall, a great foundation for future improvements! :) --KatSn (talk) 06:36, 24 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your feedback! I'll definitely try to clean up some of the run-ons and grammatical issues. I'll try to go more in depth about those topics more as well. Again, thanks for your help!! Mary Mijares (talk) 06:19, 31 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]