User talk:Marieatthemill/Indigenous peoples of Arizona

Bibliography suggestions…

Your goal in researching this topic should be to find solid secondary sources that offer an overview of indigenous religion. Ideally these sholud be books and academic articles, rather than further encyclopedia articles. Please focus on using the library's catalog and databases as well as Google Scholar to find these materials.

You may find a good regional overview in "THE GREATER SOUTHWEST AND CALIFORNIA FROM THE BEGINNING OF EUROPEAN SETTLEMENT TO THE 1880s", in Cambridge Histories Online. The article "Nuvatukya'ovi, San Francisco Peaks" in American Anthropologist offers a grounded view on the landscape of northern Arizona from an indigenous perspective. Border citizens: the making of Indians, Mexicans, and Anglos in Arizona addresses racial history of the state.-- Carwil (talk) 20:24, 12 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review

Lead section -

Really strong start here. You cover pretty much all of your bases in regards to introducing the topics that you dive more deeply into in the remainder of your article. My only note is that, starting off, the reader can feel your perspective aimed in a certain direction - e.g., using language such as 'drastically disrupting' or 'systemic inequality' is persuasive to the reader, when the information would just as easily come through if you simply mentioned the reasons that this occurs. For example, instead of mentioning systemic inequalities, introduce your point by simply mentioning the lack of water infrastructure and other examples where indigenous peoples were affected by something in this way. I can't tell if what I'm saying makes sense here, but it really just boils down to me suggesting that you use less persuasive language and keep it simply to the facts.

Content -

I really love the way that you've structured the information in the article. The charts and lists were very organized, and it puts the information that you're providing in a really concise and digestible fashion. The only thing that I would probably recommend is diving a little bit deeper into each of the specific tribes that you list in your article. As opposed to simply putting them in a list so that the reader knows what you're discussing, maybe you can add a section where you describe some of the major characteristics of the tribes. It would be nice for the reader to have even just a small summary or overview of what distinguishes each tribe from each other culturally, besides what languages they speak and how many people are in them.

Tone and balance -

Besides the lead section, your perspective comes across very neutral and objective in the article. I would continue to pay attention to some of the more persuasive language you may be inclined to use while writing, but it's used pretty minimally throughout the content of the article from what I can tell.

Organization -

I already commented on this, but I like the way you've organized some of the information. If I had any notes regarding overall organization, I would say that you could probably put the 'List of Contemporary Peoples' section before the 'Reservations' section, just for the purposes of overall article flow.

That's all I've got for you! Overall, great presentation of the research you've already done :) Rosenam2 (talk) 23:01, 9 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Sourcing for table

The table is very useful, but it isn't clear where the area figures for the reservations come from. Could you add a source? -- Carwil (talk) 02:49, 27 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]