User talk:Mad Dick Bones
Mad Dick Bones
[edit]Born on October 18, 1984 as Richard F. Nelson, the infamous pirate Mad Dick Bones has established himself as a philosopher and political leader in the Greek Organization of Alpha Chi Rho.
Growing Up
Mad Dick Bones enjoyed a relatively simple childhood. His father made a living being a lawyer, while his mother was a domestic engineer (a.k.a. a housewife). M.D.B., as some people later began to call him, was an outstanding student, and the pride of his Long Island community. He graduated high school with a 108 average, a perfect 1600 on the SATs, as well as scoring a perfect 5 on all nine of the AP exams he took. Although he played and achieved All-County status at every sport his high school offered, his specialty was baseball. Nelson was awarded the distinguished Capozzi Award for being the best baseball prospect on the East Coast. In his high school career, which spanned approximately 400 at-bats, his batting average was a cool .565. He also hit 43 homeruns and had over 100 RBIs. He was a recognized pitcher as well, throwing three no-hitters in the course of his career. The peak of his baseball success was probably during the New York State Finals during his senior year. Losing 4-2, Nelson hit a 3-run homerun over the 484 foot centerfield fence to power his team to victory, 5-4. He also played third base that game flawlessly making diving plays to his right and left. His normal position was centerfield. Nelson still holds the New York State high school record for three-pointers in a basketball game (12).
College
Richard Nelson was heavily recruited by the Ivy League's University of Pennsylvania. Much to the dismay of the University and his cult following, Nelson refused to play baseball. In a famous quote known by all who attend UPenn, he state, "Baseball, like everything else, is just too easy. It's no longer fun for me." He took to drinking large quantities of beer. This is when his transformation began.
The Birth of Mad Dick Bones
One year later, he found himself immersed in fraternity politics and piracy. After being elected Secretary of the Phi Phi Chapter of Alpha Chi Rho in a landslide victory, he began to taste power. His beverage of choice was Milwaukee's Best Ice, or, as he lovingly referred to it, "Beast." It was not uncommon for him to drink between three and four cases of beer in a single afternoon, followed by six or seven of his favorite 40's, Steel Reserve. He referred to this brand of malt liquor as "the sweet, luscious nectar of the Gods." He gained and lost weight at his command, ranging from 175 pounds and cut, to 240 pounds and fat. Nelson was known to randomly go on forty mile runs and return sixty pounds lighter, only to regain the weight in a single week of drinking. As the start of his campaign for fraternity President, he declared that "Richard Nelson is no more. His life has been sacrificed for the greater good. A renaissance has taken place, and in the ashes of Richard Nelson, rising like a phoenix, stands Mad Dick Bones."
The Life and Times of Mad Dick Bones
MDB had many famous catch-phrases. Perhaps the best known and most powerful was the one he used in which he entered an empowered state of mind, and he would yulp from the depths of his soul: "'DESE BONES IS GETTIN' MAD!" It is common knowledge of any who has met him that one should not stand in the path of MDB when his bones were mad. It was best to just do as he told, and supply him with copious amounts of ever-flowing Beast.
Capitalizing on the strength given to him by his "angry bones," MDBizzle was able to empower AXP to the throne of the Interfraternity Council (IFC). In a courageous effort, Mad Dick Bones led his brothers to glory by defeating Phi Sigma Kappa in the Battle of Beer-o-jima. This victory gave much credit to him during his campaign for President. In a campaign in which he was labeled "The War Hero, The Brother's Brother, The Common Brother's President, and The Legend," Mad Dick Bones was able to secure the Presidency in a landslide victory. Since, he was propelled in the areas of rapping, folk songwriting, and competitive beer drinking (*he has never lost in competitions, in both the areas of "Speed Chugging" and "Volume Voraciousness.") His power has since been unequaled.
M.D.B. is still President of the Phi Phi Chapter of Alpha Chi Rho, and this wiki will be updated with his many success as MDB progresses.