User talk:Lpeng18/sandbox

Hi! Your portion of the article looks great! I really like the layout and the additional sections that you've included such as the "Dr. Kelly of Hopkins" and the "Educator" portion! I think you've done a great job at keeping the tone neutral and I especially like how organized you've made the draft (especially with the Note bolded so you'll remember to come back to it!). I have a few suggestions on how to improve! I know it's still in the draft process so this is still a work in progress but maybe add a few more citations throughout your source; especially for the few couple sentences under "Medical Career". Also, under "Dr. Kelly of Hopkins" you mentioned that Kelly invented numerous surgical procedures. Is it possible to expand on that and list out some of the novel procedures that he invented? And for a final comment, sometimes the information presented within the article seems a bit rushed, especially when talking about his early life. Maybe try to expand on his interests and you could include the following information: "This interest was encouraged by his mother who often invited members of the Philadelphia scientific community to spend time at her house, sharing their knowledge with the young Kelly." http://www.archives.upenn.edu/people/1800s/kelly_howard_atwood.html Overall, I think you've done a great job! Keep up the good work! Rh1324 (talk) 03:17, 2 April 2017 (UTC)

Thank you very much for your suggestions: 1. More citations: My written part comes mainly from biographies and articles because they are the most reliable source. Although it might not look obvious, these sources are indeed added to the references, but I agree with you that more citations will provide multiple perspectives. 2. Surgical Procedures: Absolutely, will look into that. 3. Howard Kelly's early life: There is very little resource about his early life, but I will do some further searches. Thank you. Lpeng18 (talk) 02:38, 10 April 2017 (UTC)