User talk:Leeplu/sandbox
Would a section on purity and Christian Feminists' perspective on sex/gay rights be beneficial for this article?
Leeplu (talk) 00:12, 24 September 2018 (UTC)Leeplu
Peer Review
[edit]Hey Kaylee! It was great to read the edits you've made to your article! I think that changing the subject from "Feminist Christianity" to "Christian Feminism was an excellent move as it better relates the article to the scholarship you've used. Also, you effectively answered the "by whom?" tag on the part about contested views in the history section. Your addition of "by many feminist scholars..." is succinct and adds an adequate amount of context to this portion of the article. Your additions to the "Women as spiritually deficient section" resolved the warning about factual accuracy and also provided more context about some of the inconsistencies regarding gender in the Bible. Great job!
The only suggestions I have for you have to do with phrasing more than anything else. 1. It might be helpful to rephrase the sentence "The term Christian egalitarianism is often preferred by those advocating gender equality and equity among Christians who do not wish to associate themselves with the feminist movement." I think that finding a word other than "associate" could help maintain the article's overall neutrality. 2. In the "Issues" section, rephrasing or expanding on the part about mainline vs liberal Protestantism could help add context for readers. 3. Just a general note: at the end of the reproduction, sexuality, and religion section, I think you might need to add an 's' to the end of "Feminist." (Right now it says, "a problem which Christian Feminist believe needs to be solved immediately.") 4. The transition between feminist criticisms of Christian origins and the sentence about Julian of Norwich Hildegard von Bingen could be a bit smoother. I think these should either be separate paragraphs or need to have some kind of a connecting phrase to improve the flow.
Overall, I think you have made some really great changes, and you do a great job keeping a neutral and scholarly tone. I can't wait to see the finished product!