User talk:Kate-Pure/sandbox

I just wanted to point out a few things that you could maybe improve on your wikipedia article before submitting it.

I think the first bit you write, "Hunger, famine, death." would be great for an essay or a homework post, but I don't know that it necessarily belongs on a Wikipedia page.

I also noticed you included some quotes. I believe on one of the training modules, it mentioned it is best to stay away from quotations in Wikipedia posts. However, if the quote you had came from a person giving a speech or something along those lines, I could see why you would have it in there. Otherwise, I may suggest paraphrasing the quote to fit with your other content. I do agree that you may be okay keeping the first quote, the quote underneath your section on famine is, in my opinion, unnecessary as a quotation and should maybe be paraphrased.

It may also be in your best interest to not mention the author of the books you got your information from. Simply add the citation at the end of the sentence where you use the information from that author.

In the Survival in 1959-61 China area of your post, you should add a citation for the second paragraph showing from where you got that information.

Also, get rid of the rhetorical questions in your post (i.e. the first sentence in the famine section).

I really enjoyed your writing and I hope some of these suggestions help!

Almhecht (talk) 20:56, 30 April 2017 (UTC)Almhecht

I read some of your potential topics for the education of Japan. I don't think that focusing on women would be very relevant to the topic. If you could incorporate how women were involved in the education and schools of Japan then it might be more useful or effective. It might also be beneficial to describing the education of the time and how it changed. — Preceding unsigned comment added by KurtisYeager (talk • contribs) 16:39, 18 February 2018 (UTC)