User talk:Journalist0012
Note: helpme moved to the END of this page
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before the question. Again, welcome! Rich Farmbrough, 14:26, 30 September 2009 (UTC).
"have proven themselves as two very talented young ladies", "stole the hearts of millions", "dynamic duo", "almost expected that these girls produce only great things" and there are plenty more. As-is, it reads like a small town newspaper article, not an encyclopedia. Frankly, it could do with a complete rewrite. Wikipedia:Manual of Style will tell you more.
Before doing a lot of work on the article, I'd suggest seriously considering if it meets the notability guidelines. I almost nominated it for deletion as failing WP:Athlete, but chose to give it the benefit of the doubt.
The new article template can go, but I'd strongly recommend availing yourself of the "seeking feedback" link. Majorclanger (talk) 16:27, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
[The Timko Sisters response]]
[edit]I made some changes, please review and let me know what you think and if there are any other changes I can make to make this Wikipedia worthy. (These girls were asked to go on CBS News the morning show, Fox News, were brought up on Mark Maddin's show, were featured in Smash Tennis Magazine...they have no doubt made history and I believe they are wikipedia worthy!) Journalist0012 (talk) 16:40, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
- I'll give you some more suggestions, but it'll be a few hours (at least) before I get to it. Read over the manual of style I've linked above to get a better idea of the writing style expected. I'd remove the vast majority of the family detail - the article is about the sisters, not their family, particularly tangential relationships (i.e. Mary Lou Retton). To establish notability, you had better move your citations inline, using the ref tags next to "Cite your sources" on the edit page. The "quick summary" section here: Wikipedia:Citing sources will tell you more. Majorclanger (talk) 16:42, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
Help request
[edit]I've moved your help request here, to the end of your talk page. Please add new stuff at the end, in a new section, like this. Chzz ► 17:35, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
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