User talk:Jesse Carr/sandbox

Hi Jesse!

I think your lead section provides some great information about Alice Bodington. I think it would be a good idea to add more information about why she's a significant woman in the history of science. If you are able to find any more information that gives me more of a background on her, you should definitely put that in the lead section as well. Right now, it seems too focused on specific things, and I'm still not getting a clear idea of who she is or why she is important. I do like that you have mentioned some of the specifics in your lead section, and I would definitely go into more detail about those in later sections of your Wikipedia article. However, in regards to her personal life, I think that should be in a later section since the lead should be more of a general introduction. Besides, that I think she sounds like an interesting person, and I think you'll be able to write a solid article on her once you obtain more information. Good luck!

Peer Review

Hey Jesse Carr, I was going to peer review your work because Alice Brooke sounds like a very interesting person. I also decided to write it on your sandbox because I am not for sure it would notify you if I posted this on the talk page of the article (because it didn't for me). I think your lead section could use some work. It seems to be very specific and too "into her life" too early into it. It is a good thing you found her birth year and have that much information about her family. I think just a general overview about who Alice Brook is would be a very nice lead section and not such much specifics. Your second paragraphs information would be good to use in your first paragraph. When I have more time I could help look up some more resources if you need some more. Just let me know. Overall, you have a bit of information and just need to summarize it up and then possibly look for some more. TreyDumler (talk) 02:56, 20 November 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review Correction

Hey Jesse Carr, I moved my peer review of your article on the talk page of your sandbox instead of on your actual sandbox. I apologize if it got in your way and made moving your article difficult. TreyDumler (talk) 21:58, 1 December 2016 (UTC)