User talk:Jakescheese
| This user is a student editor in Bowling_Green_State_University/Sexuality_and_Politics_(Spring_2019) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Jakescheese, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:04, 6 February 2019 (UTC)
Peer review
[edit]The edits you have proposed on your sandbox seem to be going well! A small note, if possible you may want to change the name of your assigned article if possible or contact Dr. Cravens to change it, because as such it does not link to the article (I assume this is due to a capitalization issue). I was able to get to your article from the link in your sandbox, though.
For the section on adding countries that ban homosexuality entirely, it seems that your questioning whether or not that should be included. My suggestion is to look at when those laws were formed and any challenges to them to find instances of propaganda rather than listing only that homosexuality is banned so there can be specific attitudes accounted for.
When looking at the article you are planning to edit, I was often distracted by odd or incorrect grammar, particularly in the opening section. You may want to consider editing those two paragraphs to read more clearly when making your edits.
I'm sure you've also noticed that the "history" section is also underdeveloped. Perhaps some of the law information could be moved to history, and this section is not cited correctly, so you may want to consider focusing on this section more once you're finished with your current additions.
Overall, the additions you're planning on seem relevant and just need to be formatted correctly before adding them into the article! I proposed some additional suggestions for the future to make the article improve in clarity and overall readability once your current additions are finished. MelanieACain (talk) 04:18, 15 March 2019 (UTC)