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User talk:Jaime Costas Nicolás

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GagaOOLala edits

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Hi there,

You expressed interest in receiving feedback on the article you created to make it sound less of an advertisement, so I have compiled a list of some things that might help it out:

  • Try to avoid excessive external links, especially to the subject of the article inside the article. You already have the website listed in the infobox, so try removing the external links in the article (like basically all of them) and replacing them with 3rd party citations.
  • I noticed that you changed "first" to "only," but I actually think first is preferred here as it is more likely to stand the test of time. Try adding a citation to a 3rd party source here as well. For instance, a quick google search returned this: [[1]]
  • Under "Name," the part that says "I love that it is so easy to remember" is unnecessary as it has nothing to do with the name and seems to be an overt advertisement.
  • When the article says "At the same time, in 2016 Portico Media launched GagaTai and LalaTai," you can probably delete in 2016 because it already says at the same time. I would actually delete that sentence entirely because it doesn't pertain to the article subject (if an article was ever made for portico media, that's where this would go)
  • the sentence "The LGBTQ-focused online video streaming service latest and biggest expansion to date happened on June 14th, 2019, when it opened up in all of South Asia" should be entirely rephrased. It uses very promotional weasel words, even though all of it is true. I would say "In 2019, the streaming service started services in all of South Asia"
  • The last sentence can be entirely deleted as this would belong in an article in Jay Lin and not GagaOOLala. If you want to keep it, deinitely delete the last part ("and his involvement in LGBT activism in Taiwan") because that doesn't pertain to the subject even more, but I would just delete the entire thing
  • "In October 28th, 2016, GagaOOLala celebrated the first ever Queermosa Gala"-- change to "GagaOOLala created the Queermosa Gala in 2016, an award ceremony with the intended to spotlight entitities and people that support the LGBT community in Taiwan.
  • "The project was composed of more than 150 black-and-white portraits of LGBTQ people living in Taiwan in an attempt to humanize the LGBT community and familiarize the public with their diverse faces, and push for LGBT rights in Taiwan and the rest of Asia." Change to ""The project was composed of black-and-white portraits of LGBTQ people living in Taiwan in order to humanize the LGBT community."

I'll leave the rest of the article to you. I hope you see the pattern of these edits. Just take out the promotional language, remove excessive external links, and cite your sources.

I'll take a look at it tomorrow and tell you what needs to be improved then Sam-2727 (talk) 13:14, 15 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

August 2019

[edit]

Information icon Please do not remove maintenance templates from pages on Wikipedia, as you did to GagaOOLala, without resolving the problem that the template refers to, or giving a valid reason for the removal in the edit summary. Your removal of this template does not appear constructive, and has been reverted. Thank you. Mys_721tx (talk) 06:56, 28 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]