User talk:Hbkrimsk
This user is a student editor in Syracuse_University/Crime_and_Violence_(Fall_2023) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Hbkrimsk, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:29, 22 September 2023 (UTC)
Your draft
[edit]![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/90/Editing_Wikipedia_brochure_%28Wiki_Education_Foundation%29_%282017%29.pdf/page1-220px-Editing_Wikipedia_brochure_%28Wiki_Education_Foundation%29_%282017%29.pdf.jpg)
I returned your draft to your sandbox because it isn't ready for mainspace.
There are problems with the tone of the article - it isn't written like an encyclopedia article, especially a multi-authored Wikipedia article. Wikipedia articles use simple, factual statements and avoid metaphorical language when possible. So something like Perched at the northern end of South America with Columbia
just doesn't match the expected tone. Instead, you should start the article with something like Crime and political violence in Ecuador...
and try to capture the main point of the article in the first sentence. Then go on to summarize all the major points of the article in the lead section. Have a look at pages 5-7 of the Editing Wikipedia brochure that I've linked to.
Try to use factual statements, and when you report opinions you should attribute them. A statement like While not everyone agreed and there had been points of contention with Rafael Correa, their President, starting all the way back before 2017, the country had still been relatively safe and stable for a while
poses a number of problems:
- Start with a factual statement. Something more like
Until xxxx Ecuador was considered more stable than its neighbours (cite generally accepted source) although [named examples] disagreed [because...]
. And make sure everything is supported by reliable sources. Rafael Correa, their President
- Wikipedia isn't supposed to be a US-centric (or any other country-specific) work. There's no "us" or "them" - treat all countries with the same level of inclusion.- Avoid vague terms like
relatively safe and stable
. Relative to what?
Don't use language like attracting more heat
or combined for a recipe equaling crime and violence
. Think about a reader who has a literal understanding of English but isn't versed in slang and metaphor. Phrased like that can be very confusing. Even native English speakers might not be familiar with the expressions you're used to.
Avoid long quotes. Quotations should be used where the precise wording significantly improves a reader's understanding, and should be short - think 3-5 words in most cases, rarely more than a sentence. And they generally need to be attributed.
You need more inline citations. Every statement should be followed by a supporting citation; if a group of sentences are all supported by the same source, you can place a single reference after all of them, but you need to have at least one reference per paragraph, and you shouldn't have any statements after the final reference in a paragraph. You also shouldn't use external links in the body of the article—either convert them to inline references (so readers aren't clicking links without knowing where they're going, and so that the key information is preserved even if the url is changed). Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:35, 19 December 2023 (UTC)