User talk:Gwej/sandbox

Hello Gwen!

Grammer and double negatives in the sentences added to the background section are pretty rough (Water security is not achieved when there is not enough water for everyone in a region. There is not water security in a region when the amount of water per person in a water source 1700 m3 of water per year.) Consider rewriting these to avoid the double negatives in the first sentence. Also, the second sentence does not make sense. I think a word or two may be missing? You should avoid words like "most obvious" since it may not be obvious to the audience and sounds less credible. For the several environmental threats attributing to water security, you might want to combine the two natural disasters' sentences since they are related. While your information seems perfectly valid, there needs to more connectivity between sentences. The Blue Peace section needs a quick rearrangement of the sentence in order to strengthen your informational message.

Good luck on your wiki, Nicole Nmatamala (talk) 03:19, 25 April 2017 (UTC)