User talk:Funny gravity

edit request?

Hey it won't let me talk on the talk page so I created an account to become a registered user -- but turns out I fail not only at the game of life but also at the game of becoming a registered user. Since my laptop will be dying in 20 minutes, I'll just give you a barnstar instead:

		The Barnstar of Good Humor
		For having the jaws of Adamantium as you bit through the neck of a newbie by telling him to find a primary source that specifies whether Comet Ping Pong has a basement! Funny gravity (talk) 18:01, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Whether intentional or not, I soiled my laptop screen with coffee because you almost made me choke in laughter. That type of fool's errand will only humorously lead to him wasting his time & giving up. Give that pizza-gate troll a fool's errand again, and I'll give you another barnstar. xD

By the way, the reason it's so funny because of this episode of colbert report I watched 5 years ago where a journalist specifically reported a news story "that the weather was too hot to go fishing" and the inanity of journalism on display has finally become specifically requested to be found again.

In case my laptop dies or my explanation doesn't make sense -- you basically sent that guy on a snipe hunt so damn hilariously that I had to explicitly point it out (which I planned originally to do on the talk page where your epic literary accomplishment was birthed). I have printed the talk page discussion because I find your quizzaciously straightforward dictation & how you were able to make the request that he supply such unretrievable primary news coverage on whether or not a pizza building has a basement——under the ostensible pretense of "complying with WP:SYNTH——in such a beautiful, deadpan manner of speaking. Like seriously, you created a piece of literary art which I have printed (and therefore eternalized) for the creative work of literary art that it is!

Very well played sir, very well played... Funny gravity (talk) 18:01, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'm sorry if my deadpan remarks short-circuited your personal computer. Today I actually did find a source that states that the DC pizzeria does not, in fact, have a basement. ;-) ^Falling_Gravity 07:17, 11 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

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Comet Ping Pong's (Schrodinger's?) Basement

In trying to ascertain whether or not Comet Ping Pong has a basement in a general description of the property, which source do we use?

This Metro Weekly interview from 2015 where Alefantis claims Comet Ping Pong has a basement, used for storing canned vegetables and sauces:

Like our sauce — we harvest a whole crop of organic tomatoes — 10 tons of tomatoes every year. Can them all, store them in the basement, have like a harvest party when it gets loaded in.

And this one from the BBC from late 2016, where he emphatically denies having a basement:

"They ignore basic truths," Alefantis tells BBC Trending. For instance, the conspiracy supposedly is run out of the restaurant's basement. "We don't even have a basement."

Which source do we use? Alefantis seems to contradict himself, unless he filled in his basement over the course of that year, to which DC property improvement permits wouldn't corroborate such a theory. Solntsa90 (talk) 17:08, 4 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Drawing conclusions from interviews and permit laws violates WP:SYNTH. Inquisitr appears to cover this, but it's "investigation" doesn't go beyond citing these interviews and noting that they appear to contradict. A better source would state definitively whether or not the restaurant has a basement. ^Falling_Gravity 17:44, 4 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]