User talk:Enidwexler/sandbox
Peer Review- Erin
[edit]I really enjoyed reading about WOW Cafe, it was totally new material to me and you did a really good job of communicating their community, history, actions and beliefs in this article. You also referenced historical attitudes and communities at the time in a way that didn't expect an advanced level of knowledge from readers, but also didn't define or explain unrelated basic facts, and I think it's very well done and adds to the article's informative and concise nature. The only thing I can think of to change/edit and improve your article would be to proofread carefully and see where you can make the sentences clearer. I was confused at some points while reading the article, so I would suggest looking it over and seeing where you think the sentence structure/point could be clarified and shortened. This definitely isn't a major thing, however- your lead is perfect! It's simple, short, informative, and made me want to read more. Doublea-ron (talk) 21:57, 11 November 2017 (UTC)
Review--Pearson
[edit]This adds some good information on WOW that was missing, both by adding sentences to existing sections and adding new sections that give broader information about their performances and their relationship to the larger theater world in NYC. I agree with Erin that you can look at editing your sentences, which are long and complexly constructed. Look also at your adjectives and see if there are any you can trim out. Shoopee (talk) 03:22, 12 November 2017 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Great Job!! Your intro is fantastic, the topic is super interesting, and your entry is overall very clear. I was definitely very engaged in the story you were telling. I will say I agree with the other reviewers who said that the sentences could get a little convoluted. Make sure they all just have one idea with a clear direction. My other note is that because the history section is so long it might be easier to follow if you had clearer sections within the history section, or at least clearer topic sentences that would make it easier to find specific information. Very nice work!! Harborporpoise (talk) 19:18, 14 November 2017 (UTC)